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The Fairly Loud Odd House/Quotes

(The camera moves to the Turner House, and the next screen shows Timmy opening the door)
Wanda: Hey, sport, how was school today?
Cosmo: Can I answer that for him, or should I let those permanent F tattoos explain his day, which I can assume that it was horrible?
Timmy: I can't believe I'm saying this, but with Chloe around, school was much easier for me to survive through. Now that she's out of town for the week, it's tough without her.
Wanda: Gee, Hon, I had no idea you've felt that way about Chloe ever since you two became friends.
Cosmo: Yeah, I always assume that she was like a distant sister to you. After all, she is a member of our fairy family.
Timmy: For once, you're making sense, Cosmo.
Cosmo: What sense? Is it in my hair!? Get it off! Get it off!
Timmy: I rest my case.
Mr. Turner (off-screen): Oh, Timmy. Can you help me clean the garage?
Timmy: Coming. (Timmy walks out of his room)
Poof: I feel sorry for Timmy. Do you suppose there's another depressed boy with, like, ten sisters out there somewhere?
Wanda: That's crazy talk. I can't even imagine if a boy with ten sisters can be miserable.

(Meanwhile in the Loud House universe, Lincoln Loud is lying on the couch, looking miserable)
Lincoln: (fourth-wall breaking) You're probably asking, "Hey, why the long face, Linc?" Well, you've obviously seen this kind of scene dozens of times before. (The camera moves to the other room showing all ten of his sisters making their regular everyday chaos) I've gotten everything according to plan, but all that has changed, now that Lori's in charge in 3, 2, 1.
Rita: Lori's in charge.
Lynn Sr: Well, be back in a week.
(door closes)
Lincoln: With Ronnie Anne out of town, there no one else to spend some quality time with. Not even my best friend, Clyde, since he and his dads are in Hawaii this week.
(screen flips to Clyde and his dads running from the angry Hawaiians)
Clyde: I knew we should've picked Dairyland instead!
(back to Lincoln)
Lincoln: I wish there was someone else to hang out with.
Lynn: What's the matter, Lincoln?
Lincoln: I'd rather not.
Luna: Come on, bro. You can tell us. We're your sisters.
Lincoln: Well, okay. See, with the two people whom I like to spend some quality time with the most, and with Mom and Dad out for the week, there's nothing for me to do.
(Lori gives Lincoln his comics)
Lincoln: Sorry, guys, even comics won't cheer me up. Go on. Do the things you normally do. I'll just stay here till I starve.
Luan: Or maybe you should... uhh... I don't think I have a pun for what you've just said.
Lucy: Thank goodness for that.
(loud explosion from Lisa's room)
Lisa: Sorry, fellow siblings, but I was just in the middle of a complicated experiment.
Luan: Well, it better not be complicating to our free time.
(everyone groans, experiment bubbles up)
Lana: Uh, Lisa, is it supposed to do that?
Lola: Ugh! It better not get all over my dress.
Lisa: This can't be good. Hit the deck!
Leni: What deck?
Lisa: Just take cover in your rooms before it explodes!
(everyone, even the pets protect themselves over Lisa's experiment)
Lisa: Here it comes!
(nothing happens)
Lisa: Wha?...
(a portal appears)
Lori: What happened?
Lisa: I don't know. One minute it went haywire, and then this happens.
Lynn: Looks like some kind of portal.
Lucy: Looks more like a garage.
Lisa: This is a portal to another dimension.
Lana: Hey look, a weird looking beaver with a pink cap.
Lola: And he has floating friends.
Luna: Anyone knows who that beaver boy is?
Leni: I don't know, but he is kinda cute.
Lincoln: Let's go talk to him.
Lori: Hold on there, little brother, what if they could be dangerous?
Lincoln: I don't think they can be dangerous. Now, come on. I want to explore this dimension.
Lori: Stop him!
(all sister clobber Lincoln, preventing him to go through that portal, until they slipped through one of Lily's diapers and went through the portal, and the portal disappears)

(a few minutes earlier back in Timmy's world)
Mr. Turner: I know, there sure is a lot of stuff in here now, but look at it this way: the less filthy junk there is in here, the more I can throw at that Dinkle-bane of my existence.
Dinkleberg: Morning, Turner.
Mr. Turner: Speaking of which, can you hand me that hammer which belongs to me?
Mrs. Turner: (off-screen) No, it doesn't belong to you.
Mr. Turner: I didn't know she was home. Never mind. (walks away)
(Cosmo, Wanda and Poof turn to fairy form)
Timmy: Okay, guys, I'm gonna take this hammer back to Mom so she can hide it to a better place. (walks out)
Wanda: I bet he's only saying that just so he won't clean the garage.
(The Loud siblings fall through the portal to a pile of junk, Timmy hears the noise)
Timmy: What was that?
Wanda: What was what? I couldn't hear anything over the sound of Cosmo scratching his hair.
Cosmo: I know you're in there somewhere, sense. (continue scratching his hair)
Poof: I think I heard something. It must of came from over there in that huge pile.
Timmy: Thanks, Poof, I'll take a look.
(Timmy walks near the pile and throws a few out of the way, until he saw some heads)
Timmy: I guess Dad must have bought me new toys. They look so life-like. (touches Luna's cheek)
Luna: Ow! That's my cheek, dude!
(Timmy and fairies scream)
(Loud siblings scream as they popped out of the pile of junk)
Timmy: Guys, do something!
Cosmo: On it, Timmy. (poofs up a horse) Back off! May the horse be with you!
(Louds get excited over the magic, Luan laughs)
Luan: That was a good one!
Lincoln: Wow, maybe this universe isn't bad after all.
Timmy: This universe? Are you saying that you guys are from another universe?
Lisa: That is correct, human being whom I can assume is often mistaken for a beaver.
Wanda: Well, it sure is nice to welcome some new faces in town.
Timmy: My name is Timothy Tiberius Turner, but everybody calls me, Timmy Turner, or just Timmy. And these are... uhh... friends of mine.
Cosmo: I'm Cosmo.
Wanda: I'm Wanda.
Poof: And I'm their son, Poof.
Cosmo, Wanda and Poof: (as they wave their wands) And we're... umm...
Lynn: Magical creature from another world?
Wanda: Uhh... yeeeeaahhh?
Lincoln: Well, this sure is an honor to meet you guys. We're the Loud Family. I'm Lincoln Loud, and these are my ten sisters. This is Lori, she's the oldest.
Lori: (shaking hands) Nice to literally meet you.
Timmy: Literally?
Lincoln: She uses that word occasionally. This is the second oldest, Leni.
(Timmy's eyes and mouth went wide open as he first laid eyes on Leni when she shook his hand, Timmy's heart repeatedly beats)
Leni: I'm like, totes to meet you all. (looks at Cosmo) Something wrong?
Cosmo: Sorry, I'm just trying to get some sense off of me.
Leni: You have sense too!? I thought I was the only one.
Cosmo and Leni: Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
Timmy: (sigh) She's beautiful! Leni's a lot like Trixie, if she had Cosmo's brain and dyed her hair blonde.
(sonic vibration flew Timmy on the other side of the garage.)
Lincoln: That was Luna.
Luna: Pleasure to meet you, little pink boy.
Timmy: Nice guitar. You would make a great add on for this guy.
Luna: (reading) Teen singing sensation, Chip Skylark? Sorry, man, but that kind of music isn't my thing.
Timmy: Understood.
Luan: Hey, Luan Loud here. (joybuzzes Wanda)
Wanda: I don't need no personality scanner to know you're the comedian of the family.
Lynn: Heads up! (kicks a football to Poof)
Cosmo and Wanda: Poof! Look out! (Poof catches the football)
Lynn: Nice catch.
Poof: Thanks. Now throw me to that wall.
Lynn: Are you sure?
Poof: Trust me. (Lynn throws Poof to the wall, and Poof flies back to her hands)
Lynn: Awesome! Hey, if you're ever in the neighborhood, I'm always looking for new talent.
Lincoln: That's Lynn. And this is... Hey, where's Lucy?
Lucy: Over here.
(everyone screams)
Lucy: Gets them every time.
Lincoln: These are the twins.
Lola: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
Lana: I prefer eating mud cakes. They're delicious.
Cosmo: Finally, someone who understands. (poofs her a mud cake)
Lana: Sweet! (Cosmo and Lana dig their mouths on the mud cake)
Lola: Eww! Lana! Show some respect! (to Timmy) By the way, my name's Lola.
Lisa: Lisa Loud, pleased to meet you. (Timmy and fairies are covered in Lisa's spit)
Timmy: The smart one, I presume.
Lincoln: And this is Lily.
Lily: Gaa beh ba ba.
Poof: Nice to meet you too. (everyone stares at Poof) What? I'm still a baby myself. (Lily takes Poof's rattle) My rattle!
Lily: (giggles and walks with Poof's rattle)
Poof: Lily! I wouldn't shake that if I were you.
Lori: (takes Poof's rattle away from Lily and gives it back to Poof) Think you guys can show us the rest of your house?
Timmy: Sure. Come on. (Timmy, fairies and Louds walked out of the garage)

Lincoln: (looks at Timmy's love portrait of Trixie Tang) Who is that?
Timmy: Oh, this girl on the portrait? That's Trixie Tang, my on-again-off-again girlfriend. My love for her burns with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns!
Lynn: So, you're in love with her?
Timmy: Well, duh. I try to win Trixie for two reasons: first off, she's pretty, and second, she's the most popular girl in school where I'm learning.
Lucy: And how's the progress?
Timmy: Terrible. I have got her to kiss me a few times, but most of the time, she keeps rejecting me. She kicked me out of her house once when I killed the plant that tried to eat her when she thought it was seemingly harmless!
Luna: Wow, that's rough, dude. (sits on a letter from Timmy's parents) Hey, Timmy, there's a letter for you.
Timmy: What does it say?
Luna: "Dear Timmy, sorry we couldn't tell you in person, but your mom and I are going to our vacation for my weekly conference of Pencil Nexus. Don't worry about feeling alone, we got Vicky to watch over you, and make sure?..." Your dad must have spelled "necks" wrong.
Timmy: No. Pencil Nexus is the name of the company that my dad works in.
Luna: Oh, I see. (continues reading) "...that you have the greatest week of your life."
Timmy: (sarcastically) Oh joy.
Lincoln: You don't sound surprised.
Luan: No joy for this boy. (laugh) Get it?
Wanda: You don't understand, Vicky is evil. Icky with a V.
Lori: Well, that makes sense.
Cosmo: Ahh! Now there's sense in Wanda too? (pulls up a vacuum) GET OFF OF MY WIFE, YOU MONSTERS!
Wanda: Calm down, Cosmoron! There's no sense inside my hair.
Lana: How terrifying can this Vicky possibly be?
(Vicky evily laughs, cutting Timmy's door with her chainsaw)
(Timmy, fairies, and Louds scream in fear)
Vicky: Okay, Twerp, and other kids I've never seen before, here's what's going on: I've won last place at the Dimmsdale beauty pageant, and I'm gonna take it out on you! (pulls up her chainsaw)
(Timmy screams)
Lola: Hold on. Just how exactly did you lost?
Vicky: Not that it's any of your business, but if you must know, I was nominated for "Worlds Most Ickiest and Scariest Contestant".
Lola: (burst out laughing) You? Scary? (continues laughing)
Vicky: (snatches Lola's tiara) You might as well stand there and see just how scary I can be.
(as Lola gasps in horror, Vicky was about to slowly cut Lola's tiara in half)
Lori: (snatches the tiara from Vicky's hand) Oh no, you don't!
Vicky: Huh?
Luan: (as she and the others surround Vicky) You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!
Vicky: Humph... (arms folded) I'd like to see you all try.
(the Louds attack Vicky off-screen and strap her inside the garage)
Vicky: Whoever you people are, you are all animals! (Timmy slams the garage door)
Timmy: Thanks, guys.
Lisa: No problem, it's what we do for new friends.
Lola: That Vicky sure is seriously scary.
Lana: (gives Lola her tiara back) Even scarier than you when you get mad.
Lola: I just hope I don't turn into her when I'm 16.
Lincoln: Sounds like that Valerie girl sure hates you.
Vicky: (off-screen) It's Vicky!
Timmy: I've made a lot of enemies.
Leni: (as Timmy glares at her with hearts for eyes) Where are Cosmo, Wanda and Poof?
Wanda: In the fishbowl.
Leni: (shriek) Talking fish! That's even scarier than spiders, but not as scary as that mean redhead.
Wanda: Don't worry, it's only us in fish form. (she, Cosmo and Poof turn back into fairies) See?
(Louds gasp)
Lisa: Normally, I not the type of person who makes physical expressions, but... (jaw falls flat on the ground)
Lynn: Cool, it's like you can shape shift into anything.
Cosmo: That's right. Timmy can't let anyone know we exist, or else we have to go away forever.
Timmy: I'll show you where I go to school to. Right now I need to relax after what just happened.
Luan: That girl, she sure is bad luck.
Timmy: Uh oh!
(thunder and lightning appears, laughter out of nowhere, shadowy figures appear, revealing the laughter came from Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda and Foop)
Anti-Cosmo: (still in shadowy figure) Did someone say... (revealing his face) ... bad luck!?
Timmy: And hence, the madness continues.
Anti-Cosmo: I see that your new friends said the magic word, and we're here to cause it.
Anti-Wanda: Don't take it too personally, y'all, it's just business. Speaking of which, I'll be making a nice cereal sandwich when this is done.
Foop: Eeehh! Why couldn't she and Wanda switch brains when they were born? (flies to Poof) Hello, Poof, still round as always?
Luan: Was that a joke? I totally need to write that down.
Anti-Cosmo: Oh, don't worry, funny girl, whom I can assume is from another dimension visiting this one, you'll be laughing at your funeral when we are done with all of you! (nothing happens; pulls up a red button) Ugh! Darn thing almost never work. Okay, blah, blah, blah. All of you! (lightning) Much better. Now, we must go and wreck havoc on the earth. But first, (grabs the wands) just in case you get any ideas. (throws the wands in the fireplace)
Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof: Nooooo!!
Foop: Good luck, morons! Evil laugh! Cackle! Heart-melting crack ups! Anit-Fairies out! (poofs away)
Wanda: I got a bad feeling about this.
Timmy: Come on! (everyone walks out of the front door, and sees every Anti-Fairy destroying the town.)
Lori: Who the heck were those guys? They look like you, but far less cute.
Wanda: Those are Anti-Fairies, the opposite counterparts of us regular fairies, wrecking havoc, and causing bad luck everywhere they go.
Lincoln: Isn't there anything you can do to stop them?
Wanda: Sorry, Lincoln, but even if we still had our wands, we can't send away that army of Anti-Fairies.
Cosmo: Well, I suppose the best thing to do to stop them is saying, "Please stop" and they'll go away. Easy peasy.
Poof: Dad, you know that politeness isn't going to stop the Anti-Fairies.
Lynn: Well, think we can use this to stop them? (pulls out a butterfly net)
Timmy: Thanks, Lynn! That's just what we need.
Lola: How is a butterfly net going to stop those freaks?
Foop: (off-screen) Who are you calling a freak, drama queen?
Timmy: Fairy and Anti-Fairy magic doesn't work on a butterfly net. We have to round up all the Anti-Fairies.
Luna: How are we going to do that?
Timmy: (camera close-up) Here's what we're gonna do...

(Anti-Fairies floating around destroying everything)
Anti-Cosmo: Yes. Yes! Go! Destroy what would no longer exist!
(loud crash)
Foop: Ohh. I smell bad luck.
Anti-Wanda: Much tastier then snake ka-bob.
(Anti-Fairies follow the bad luck to the trap, Lincoln press the button activating the butterfly net modified by Lisa to suck and trap all the Anti-Faries inside, Anti-Wanda screams)
Foop: I'll have my revenge, Timmy Turner! Just you waaaaiiiiit!!!
Anti-Cosmo: Oh, not again! (Head still showing) Hmm, Deja Vu.
(Head gets sucked in the net)
Timmy: We did it! Nice work, everyone! Sorry about what happened.
Lincoln: Are you kidding me?! That was the best day of my life!
Lucy: Even those floating creatures kept my spirits high.
Lynn: Too bad we can't get back home now.
Wanda: Don't worry, as soon as we get new wands, we'll be able to send you back to your world.
Cosmo: In the meantime, I'll be in the shower washing some sense out of me. (flies to Timmy's bedroom window)
Lincoln: You sure wern't kidding about you making a lot of enemies, Timmy, even when they are trying to destroy you.
Timmy: I wouldn't worry about them. It's my crazy crack-pot teacher I should be worried about.
Lana: Crack-pot teacher?
Timmy: (showing a picture) His name is Mr. Denzel Crocker.
Lynn: That thing on his neck... is that his ear?
Timmy: He used to be Cosmo and Wanda's godchild when he was my age, but after he lost them, he swore that he won't rest, until he captures them and proves their existence. But there's no chance that could happen. Come on. I'll take you on a tour around Dimmsdale.
(as Lori and the rest started to walk, she tries calling Bobby)
Lori's Phone: (dial tone, then "unavailable" beeps) We're sorry, the number you have dialed is not in service.
Lori: Ugh! Isn't there literally any reception around here?
Wanda: Sorry, phones from other dimensions including yours won't work.
Lori: Oh. (to herself) I'll be back soon, Boo-Boo Bear.
(unbeknownst to the heroes, Mr. Crocker was hiding from the bushes overhearing about the wands)
Crocker: So, Turner's FAIRIES are going to get new wands, eh? Well, we'll see about that! Their in for a big surprise. (crazy laughter) GAH!! Forgot I can't stand up straight with a hump.

Tootie: (off-screen) Timmy!
Timmy: Was that you, Lola?
Lola: Nope.
Tootie: (running far behind the Louds, yelling) TIMMY!
Timmy: Knock it off, Lana!
Lana: I swear, it wasn't me or Lola!
Tootie: (getting closer) WAIT UP, TIMMY!
Timmy: I doubt that was Lily.
Lily: Poo-poo.
Lincoln: (looks behind) I think that girl in glasses is after you, Timmy.
Timmy: Aw, crud. (gets glomped by Tootie)
Tootie: Oh, Timmy, (Timmy's face turns purple) I'm so glad to see you! (sees the Louds) Wait, who are they?
Timmy: (Timmy takes heavy deep breaths after Tootie lets go of him; face turns to normal color) The Louds, this is my second girlfriend, Tootie. Tootie, the Louds.
Lincoln: Hey!
Tootie: What are you doing here?
Lisa: It's a long story.
Timmy: Tootie is Vicky's little sister. (the Louds gasp) Don't worry, she's not evil! But, here's the thing: she's got a huge crush on me. So huge, that it gets really awkward.
Lynn: Gee, does that sound familiar?
Lincoln: Yep, (whispering into Lynn's ear) same case with Clyde having a crush on Lori.
Lola: Well, I'd really like to have a tea party with Tootie, and probably give her a makeover!
Tootie: EEEEE! I LOVE TEA PARTIES! (calm) Yeah, I don't see why not. A makeover couldn't hurt!
Timmy: Not now, okay?! We gotta find new wands for Cosmo, Wanda & Poof!
Lola: Oh, right. Maybe later. Is it just me, or do me, Tootie, Lily and Lana sound pretty similar?
Lana: Yeah, it sure does seem that way, Lola. Well, to be fair, me and you are twins, so it makes sense for both of us.
Leni: Did I mention that Timmy likes me? He's such a sweet kid!
Lori, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola and Lisa: Awww...
Timmy: Yeah. If I was a little older, or if Leni was a little younger, she would make a great girlfriend for me. (to Tootie) Jealous, Tootie?
Tootie: (impressed) Hmmm, looks like I have some competition! And no, I'm not jealous. If that's the way you want it, that's fine, I'll pick a new boyfriend! (walks up to Lincoln) What's your name again?
Lincoln: I'm Lincoln. I'm dating Ronnie Anne, you know.
Tootie: (hugs Lincoln) No matter! She won't find out about this!
Wanda: Save your bizarre love triangle for later, Tootie!
Luan: Yeah, otherwise love will tear you and Timmy apart, again! (laugh)
(Everyone but Luan groans at her joke)
Lincoln: (deadpan) This girl is crazy.

(Everyone walks out of the School)
Luna: There sure are a lot of kids in your school who are a snooze fest, Timmy. Not even a single person likes my music.
Timmy: Sorry to hear about that, Luna, but at least we had some time to look more around Dimmsdale while waiting for the new wands to show up.
(Mr. Crocker is hiding in his Unsuspecting Van, he looks at Timmy and the gang through the binoculars)
Crocker: (chuckles) These FAIRIES will not resist this Rump Roast trap that I've prepared!
(Tootie with amazing looking makeup with help from Lola shows up)
Tootie: Hello, Timmy.
Timmy: (surprised, blushing) Tootie? You... you look amazing.
Tootie: That's right. And since I look more pretty than ever, I'm far too good for you. This new me prefers a new kid to lay googly eyes on. Say... this one right here?
Lincoln: (to himself) Good thing Ronnie Anne isn't around to know about this.
Wanda: Good news, our new wands have arrived. Now to send you all home.
(Burnt smell flies right up to fairies)
Poof: Hey, I know that smell. It's... No. Not going to fall for it this time.
Cosmo: Oooo! Rump Roast! Oh, I can't resist. (flies straight to the rump roast)
Wanda: Cosmo, wait! That could be... (eyes gets wacky) Oh, what the heck! (flies to the rump roast)
Poof: Wait for me, Mom.
Timmy: Guys, no! That could be...
(fairies get trapped by Crocker's butterfly net)
Crocker: Gotcha!
Timmy: Nooo! It's a trap!
Crocker: Now that I have your magic, (grabs the wands) thank you. I'll be once again Ruler of Fairy World and the Earth! (laugh) Ow! Standing up straight with a hump again!
Timmy: Hand over the wands, Mr. Crocker! (runs straight to Crocker)
Crocker: Not a chance, Turner! In fact, (raises the wands) I wish I was in Fairy World!
Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof: Timmy! Help! (they poof away)
Timmy: This is not good.
(The earth shakes, everything cracking apart, Dimmsdale citizens running away, familiar faces having their mouths trapped by tight locks wished up by Crocker)
(Chester coming out of the garbage can gets his mouth locked tight)
(A.J. and Charlotte sitting on a bench in the Park)
A.J.: Charlotte?
Charlotte: Yeah, A.J.?
A.J. We've been dating for a while now, and I was hoping...
Charlotte: (grabs A.J.'s shoulders) Yes! I'll kiss you, you fool. I've waited for this moment sense the day I've first laid eyes on your cute eyes.
A.J.: You've read my mind.
(A.J. and Charlotte started to kiss, until they had their mouths locked up and fall down leaving their two mouths close together)
A.J.: (soothing voice, muffled) What a woman.
(Trixie's Mansion; Trixie is throwing darts at a Timmy picture)
Trixie: Why does that loser always have to talk to me?
Veronica: (to herself) (sigh) Why does that loser never talk to me?
(glittering magic appears in their mouths and they get locked up)
(Francis seen about to punch a kids eye, until he gets his mouth locked up and his fist, the kid celebrates, but gets locked too)
(Chet on TV)
Chet Ubetcha: This is Chet Ubetcha with some breaking news. Dimmsdale is breaking apart. In other news, as if by magic by a deranged middle-age man with his ears behind his neck, citizens everywhere have their mouth locked shut. This is Chet Ubetcha saying... (mouth gets locked and Chet used American Sign Language to say "I gotta find me a new line of work.")
(back to Timmy and Louds)
Timmy: This is bad. We have to save my fairies, stop Crocker, and send you all back home. Well, (stares at Leni) almost everyone.
Lori: Timmy's right. We have to rescue them.
Lola: But how? We don't even know where this "Fairy World" is.
Timmy: But I do. Come on! (Tootie and Louds follow Timmy)
(The Crocker Cave; Everyone falls down, Lisa excitingly looks at Crocker's equipment)
Lisa: Jumping Jefferson! Look at this stuff! This is beyond my technology. Anti-Mind-reading helmet, Magic scanner and... sexy high heel shoes?
Leni: (puts on Trixie's clothes + wig) Look, everyone! I'm Trixie! Timmy, like, tell me I'm pretty!
Timmy: (with hearts for eyes) Gosh, you're pretty!
Lori: (off-screen) Leni, take that costume off!
Leni: Okay, okay, sheesh! (goes off-screen, comes back in her normal clothes)
Timmy: (shakes head) Now, to pull this switch, and it's off to Fairy World. (tries to pull the switch, but it's too tight) Darn it.
Lana: Let me handle this. I'm a professional.
Timmy: At eating groady things? (laughs)
Lana: (not amused) Very funny, Timmy. (pulls out a toolbox) Stand back and watch the master! (fixes the Portal off-screen with everyone watching)
(Lana pulls the switch and it works)
Timmy: Yes! Now to find Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof.
Lincoln: This day just gets better and better.
(everyone runs to the portal)
Tootie: Wait for me, Lincoln.

(everyone poofs to Fairy World)
Lynn: This is Fairy World?
(camera moves to Fairy World which now looks to be in ruins)
Timmy: Look, don't worry, this happens dozens of times before. Once Crocker is defeated, it will turn back to the magical place it once was and always will be.
Lincoln: Where would we find this Crocker guy?
Timmy: Well, there is someone who could help. Jorgen!
Luan: Who's...
(loud explosion appears then fades away, revealing Jorgen Von Strangle)
Jorgen: I could assume you'd be involved, Turner. And looks like you've brought in some girly help as well.
Timmy: You can trust these guys, Jorgen. Besides, they've helped me get rid of the Anti-Fairies.
Jorgen: Hmmm, alright. We must prepare for battle. Crocker has drained most of our fairy magic, but with you and your puny friends' help, we can stop this madness, and save Fairy World and the Earth.
Timmy: Sounds good to me. And I know just what to do. Come on, everyone.
(everybody follows Timmy, but Lynn runs from the rainbow)
Lynn: (angry) What was that part about puny?
Jorgen: Well... uhh...
(Lynn grabs Jorgen's foot and flips him back and forth, then follows the rest of the gang)

(The Fairy Armory, which Crocker turns into his own fortress; every fairy dressed as slaves including Timmy's)
Crocker: (hyperactive laugh) Yes! I'm ruler once again, and this time with a straight back.
Cosmo: That's definitely not his good side.
Wanda: Not a single part of his body has a good side.
(rumbling noise; door breaks revealing Timmy, Tootie, and the Louds armored)
Crocker: So, I see you have decided to join the party.
Lincoln: And we are here to crash it. Luna, action music please?
Luna: You got it, bro. (Luna plays her guitar as the heroes start to attack)
Crocker: Crock-Bots, destroy them! (Crock-bots begin to attack)
(action screenshots of the heroes taking down the Crock-Bots; Timmy and Lincoln punching the bots stomach, Lola and Lana bashing the heads, Lori grabs Leni's legs and spins her around to take out the surround Crock-Bots, one grabbed Lily, but she threw up on its face making it let go of Lily as it explodes, Lucy jump scaring the bots, Lisa showing the Crock-Bots science that's making the Crock-Bots press their self-destruct button, and the last of the bots surround Luan)
Luan: How many Crock-Bots does it take to screw in a light bulb? (Crock-Bots make questionable look) All of you. (Luan wraps the Crock-Bots with the long cord on her microphone) That's a wrap. (laughs) Get it?
Crocker: (laughs) If I were on your side that would be even more hilarious than it is now. Anyway, I'm still ruler of this world, and there's nothing you can do to stop me! Especially not even that switch that will reactivate all the power in Fairy World.(Crocker realizes he foolishly helped them, covers his mouth) Oh, poopy!
(Timmy turns on the switch recharging the fairy magic; Fairy World is back to normal and the fairies regular clothes return)
Wanda: Thanks for saving us, sport.
Timmy: Hey, none of this would have happened without the Louds.
Crocker: Enjoy the celebration while you can, but luckily, I've took the liberty of taking some back-up wands after your precious Fairy World was saved. If you need me, I'll be taking over a new town. Say... Royal Woods? (activates a portal and jumped into the Loud House universe)
Lori: Head to that portal!
(everyone quickly heads to the portal to Royal Woods before it disappears)
Jorgen: Well, I'll be at the hospital to get laser surgery. That Loud athlete girl has the strength of a thousand pythons. (poofs away)

(The Loud House universe; The Louds, Timmy, Tootie and fairies went through the portal before it disappeared)
Lincoln: It's good to be home.
Lucy: (camera points to her with crow noise heard) Hooray.
(everyone jump scares)
(Fairly Oddparents characters look in the mirror)
Timmy: Woah, we look way different.
Cosmo: Yeah, for some reason I look like an even bigger idiot than in my own world.
Wanda: Well, that sure makes... (Timmy shuts Wanda's mouth)
Timmy: You want him to scratch his hair the whole time again? Also, the older Loud sisters here seem to have much shorter chins. In our universe, they looked like the daughters of (pulls out a Crimson Chin comic book) the Crimson Chin. But to me, they look a little better here than they did in Dimmsdale.
Tootie: Well, duh! That's because this is their home universe! (looks in the mirror) Hmm, now that I think about it, I look kinda cuter here than in Dimmsdale.
Poof: I've been in this universe for a few seconds, and I can tell things look normal to me.
(citizens in Royal Woods running and screaming, Crocker set up an elite force to attack the town)
(Coach Makowski pops out of the bushes)
Lincoln: Coach? What's happening?
Coach Makowski: I don't know. I was just in the middle of my everyday push-ups when this happened. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to join the crowd. (screams like a girl and takes off)
Crocker: (speaking through a microphone) Citizens of Royal Woods, bow before your new master, Denzel Crocker!
Citizen: Never heard of you.
Crocker: SILENCE!!
Lana: Crocker is destroying everything!
Lisa: He must be stopped!
Lincoln: (fourth-wall breaking) You're obviously thinking, this isn't your everyday episode, so brace yourself, as you watch us for the fight of our lives.
Tootie: (To Lori) Who is he talking to?
Lori: Just roll with it.
Leni: He's heading straight to our house. What are we going to do?
Timmy: Don't worry, with magic on our side again, everything is under control. I wish none of this have ever happened, and Mr. Crocker was in jail.
Wanda: Sorry, Sport. It's against Da Rules to make that kind of wish in other worlds. Ever Crocker is out of our reach at the moment.
Timmy: WHAT?! (twitches like Crocker, making frustrated grunts as he does so)
Leni: Timmy, calm down! (goes to Timmy and hugs him, as she does so, Timmy's twitching slowly goes away)
Timmy: (sigh) If I ranted like Crocker for another minute, I would've lost my sanity. (blushes) Thank you, Leni.
Leni: Don't mention it, Timmy.
Timmy: There's gotta be something we can do to take him down.
Lucy: I would go home and scare the life out of him if he ever gets to my bedroom.
Lincoln: Lucy, you're a genius! What if we do our normal every day habits against Mr. Crocker?
Lynn: Yeah, that way we can capture him and send him back to Dimmsdale.
Luan: Let's catch that Crock-pot!
(everybody laughs)
Lori: Okay, now that's funny.
Luan: Sure was, wasn't it? Now let's get going. (Louds, Timmy, Tootie, and fairies head to the Louds house before Crocker)

Crocker: Finally, I have all the magic I need! (evily laughs) I wish I was the mayor of Royal Woods! (the wands don't activate) Huh? I said: "I wish I was the mayor of Royal Woods!"! (tries to activate them, but the wands don't work) What the heck?! (starts hitting the wands until they break) Aw, great. Now I have no magic with me! There's no way I can take over this city now!
(Crocker's elite forces retreat)
Crocker: WAIT! Where do you think you're going?! Come back! (elite forces don't respond) Welp, looks like I'm doing this on my own, then, with no magic at all.
(cut to Dimmsdale, where the mouths of everyone's familiar faces are unlocked. As the mouths get unlocked, citizens begin cheering)
(Chester's mouth gets unlocked)
Chester: Yes! I can eat food from the trash again!
(A.J. and Charlotte sitting on a bench in the Park, their mouths are unlocked and their lips let go)
A.J.: Huh, that must be the longest kiss I've ever had!
Charlotte: But I bet it was worth it, right, A.J.?
A.J.: Right.
(Trixie's Mansion; Trixie and Veronica's mouths are open again, Trixie fires a dart at a Timmy picture and misses)
Veronica: Trixie, you gotta work on your aim.
Trixie: I know. And you gotta stop thinking about Timmy.
Veronica: What?
Trixie: Nothing.
(Francis and the kid from before are seen, Francis' mouth and fist are open again, but so is the kid's mouth. The kid groans as Francis punches him in the eye)
(Chet on TV, his mouth unlocks)
Chet Ubetcha: This is Chet Ubetcha, this time with great news! The town of Dimmsdale has mysteriously been cured, and now everyone's mouth has been re-opened! This is Chet Ubetcha saying "How lucky I am to speak again!"

(Back to Royal Woods, Crocker kicks the Louds front door)
Crocker: Hmmm, I could assume anyone could be home. (sees a sign) Huh? (reads the sign) "This must be your lucky day if you are the first to read this sign. Just make your way up the stairs." There's only one logical explanation for this. Turner and those loud brats must have surrendered, so that I can have more magic they must be hiding upstairs. I'm clearly not in denial. Here I come, magic! (runs upstairs) Okay, Turner and other kids whose names all start with L and that I can't figure out whose is who, are you ready for this?
(Luna kicks her bedroom door holding her guitar)
Luna: Are you ready for this? (plays her guitar as loud as she could)
Crocker: GAH! Kids today with their rocking and rolling! (looks around) Maybe there's magic in here.
(Lola and Lana open their door before Crocker could)
Lola: If you want to gain access to this door, (holds makeup) you need a better look. Right, sis?
Lana: (holding mud and other gross stuff) Ditto. (twins smudge Crocker's face, Lola holds a mirror) Ta da!
Crocker: Holy cow! I'm a hideous beauty queen! (backs away to Lynn and Lucy's room, Lynn opens the door and kicks Crocker with a football)
Lynn: There's more where that came from.
Crocker: I'm not afraid of you children.
Lucy: Boo.
Crocker: (screams like a girl) Except for you! (runs to Lisa's room, Lisa opens the door holding Lily)
Lisa: Hold this, will you? (gives Lily to Crocker)
Crocker: Ha! What's the wittle baby gonna do? Cry at me till I pass out? (Lily passes gas at his face, Crocker chokes all the way to Lori and Leni's room, Lori opens her door)
Lori: What are you doing, weirdo!?
Crocker: Oh, I'm... sorry I... uhhh... (backs away)
(every sister, plus Lincoln surrounds Crocker, Crocker sweats and snaps)
Crocker: I CAN'T TAKE THIS!!! YOU PEOPLE ARE MONSTERS!!! I'M GETTING OUT OF THIS CRAZY PLACE!!! (runs downstairs and trips to a rope held by Timmy and Tootie)
Timmy: Yes! (high-fives Tootie)
Luan: He sure was trippin. (laughs) Get it?

(back to Dimmsdale; Crocker with bandages on his head is being taken to the hospital, speaking gibberish)
Crocker: Ehh... Fairies... Must... Get... Turner's... Fairies...
Lori: What's going to happen to him?
Wanda: He's suffering from long-term memory loss. He won't remember anything about you guys nor your town. So he won't bother you all anymore.
Lincoln: That's good.
(fairies activate their wands opening a portal to Royal Woods)
Lincoln: Well, I guess this is goodbye. Thanks for saving our world.
Timmy: No problem. You guys are welcome to visit Dimmsdale anytime you want. Except if there's any more of what just happened. (gives Lincoln some Crimson Chin comics) As a gift of gratitude, I would like for you to have the best issues of Crimson Chin comics. You should give them a read sometime.
Lincoln: Thanks, Timmy. (gets kissed by Tootie on the cheek, Lincoln is surprised and wide-eyed) Why did you kiss me, Tootie?
Tootie: Sorry, Lincoln. I just kind of got a bit carried away there. I won't bother you anymore, though. (hands Lincoln a bag of bells) Here you go.
Lincoln: Wow...uh, thanks. If you were to be around Royal Woods, I'm sure you and my best friend Clyde would've gone together nicely.
Tootie: Because we both have awkward crushes on different people: me on Timmy and your friend Clyde on Lori?
Lincoln: Exactly!
Lana: It sure was nice to meet you, Cosmo.
Cosmo: Same here, Lana. Oh, here's my new present for my new inter-dimensional friend. (poofs up a dead frog)
Lana: EEEEEEE!!! A dead frog!
Lola: Gross! (walks to Tootie) Here you go, Tootie. Just in case.
Tootie: You're giving me your make-up? Thanks, Lola.
Lola: Age before beauty. (Lola and Tootie hug)
Lynn: It sure was nice to meet you, Poof.
Poof: Thanks, Lynn. If you ever need more practice for soccer, you know where to find me. (Poof pulls up a fist making Lynn flinch and lightly hit her shoulder twice) Two for flinching. (both laugh and hug goodbye) And it was nice knowing you, Lily.
Lily: (giggles) Poof!
Poof: It's nice how she knows my name.
Lori: Alright, everyone, let's get going. I got a certain someone to text back home.
(The Louds head to the portal back home, Leni stops, quickly turns around and walks towards Timmy)
Leni: You are, like, a true hero, Timmy. (kisses Timmy on the cheek, Timmy's eyes turn into hearts, his face turns red and his mouth wiggles, Leni catches up and the portal closes)
Timmy: I'm gonna continue never washing this cheek for weeks. And I'll miss those guys, especially Leni. She may have lacked brains, but she was beautiful and sweet. And the rest of the Louds are just as great.
Wanda: You know, despite their last name, they sure are a lot of fun.
Timmy: Well guys, this sure was one heck of a day. Now it's off to our regular everyday lives.
(Tootie runs near Timmy)
Tootie: Mine included.
Timmy: Come on, Tootie, what do you say you and I take a nice long walk at the park?
(Tootie nods in agreement, the sun sets as Tootie and Timmy start walking out of the scene)
Tootie: Can I constantly kiss you while we do so?
Timmy: You have to ask? Yeah, sure, but don't kiss anywhere near where Leni did!
Poof: Boy, this sure was fun. What do you say we all take some well-earned R&R at home?
Wanda: Speaking of home, I can't help feeling we forgot something.
Cosmo: More sense in my hair?
(Vicky is still strapped in the garage)
Vicky: Hello? Anyone? I want to get out of here! I want to get out of this chair! If someone doesn't let me out of this chair right now, someone's gonna become a human pretzel, possibly worse! (Showing the outside of the garage door as Vicky is still talking) I... I... I WANT MY MOMMY!!

(meanwhile at the Loud House universe)
Lincoln: (fourth-wall breaking) Well, this sure was one epic day for all of us. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to throw out this bag of bells that Tootie gave to me. If Ronnie Anne finds out about this, she's gonna pulverize me!
(Luan pops out of nowhere)
Luan: All's bell that ends bell. (laughs; Lincoln groans)
(screen fades to black, Cosmo (in his regular form) and Leni (in her regular form) pop out in front of the black background)
Cosmo: I think I get it now. Sense is actually a term of expression that make us sound smart.
Leni: Totes! I was just thinking the same thing. But wait. What was it that was in our hair?
Cosmo: I sure hope it's not...
Cosmo and Leni: (gasp) SPIDERS!!! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
(ending title card)

The Fairly Oddparents Meets The Loud House/Deleted Scene/Timmy's in Love

Timmy's in Love
Lyrics:
♪Love, love, love, Timmy's in love, love, love♪
♪Like a pool of cinnamon buns, Timmy's in love♪
♪Love, love, love, Timmy's in love, love, love♪
♪Oohh... He's in love♪
♪Lo-ove, lo-ove, lo-ove, love♪
♪Love, love, love, love, Timmy Turner's in love♪
♪Love, love, love, gathering love♪

The Fairly Oddparents Meets The Loud House/Bloopers

Off-Screen Director: The Fairly Loud Odd House, Timmy, fairies and Louds introduce themselves. Take one. And action.
Timmy: My name is Timothy Tiberius Turner, but everybody calls me, Timmy Turner, or just Timmy. And these are... Juandissimo?
Off-Screen Director: Cut! Juandissimo, for the last time, you're not in this crossover.
Juandissimo: No one ever appreciates my sexiness. (sadly floats away)

Off-Screen Director: Vicky barges in. Take three. And action.
Vicky: Okay, Twerp, and other kids I've never seen before, here's what's going on: I've won last place at the Dimmsdale beauty pageant, and I'm gonna take it out on you! (pulls up a rubber chicken) Huh?
(audience laughs)
Vicky: (trying hard not to laugh) Well... I can still chase you around with this.
Off-Screen Director: Cut!

Off-Screen Director: Anti-Fairy Reign. Take seven. And action.
Anti-Cosmo: I see that your new friends said the magic word, and we're here to cause it.
Anti-Wanda: Don't take it too personally, y'all, it's just business. Speaking of which, I'll be making Mold Mereal.
Off-Screen Director: Cut!
Anti-Cosmo: No, woman! It's "nice cereal sandwich."
Foop: Oh, please don't say "nice". It makes my brain throw up just hearing that!

Off-Screen Director: Tootie meeting the Louds. Take two. And action.
Lola: Well, I'd really like to have a tea party with Tootie, and probably give her a makeover!
Tootie: (cough) Sorry, I have a bit of a cold today. Can we do this tomorrow?
Off-Screen Director: Okay, Tootie. You can take the day off.
Timmy: Get better soon.
Tootie: Thanks. (walks home and sneezes)
(everyone stares at each other)
Lori: Sooo... what now?

Off-Screen Director: A.J. and Charlotte scene. Take six. And action.
Charlotte: Yes. I'll kiss you, you fool. I've been wating for the moment since... Wait, was it moment or minute?
A.J.: It's moment.
Charlotte: Doesn't it seem weird that I sound like Sandy Cheeks?
A.J.: You sound more like Cindy Vortex to me, but softer.

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