Takes a Turner to know a Turner/Quotes

(Dimmsdale Elementary; School kids happily ran out of the school after dismissal; Timantha walks out, a few seconds later, Timmy does cartwheels around Timantha)
Timmy: Alright! The horrible school week is finally over.
Timantha: And you know what that means?
Both: Family Trip!
Timmy: I've been waiting a long time for this. A field trip to Seattle. Just you, me, our parents and most of all, our fairies.
(fairies poof near)
Timantha: Just asking, but didn't you guys visit Seattle while you and the others were traveling around the world?
Wanda: Yes, but it was only for a musical montage.
Cosmo: I sure can't wait to go to Seattle for real this time.
Timantha: Why not just poof there yourself?
Cosmo: Because, it's not fun without a godchild around. Plus, it amuses me when your dad listens to the radio.
Poof: Do people even listen to radio anymore?
Timmy: I assure not.
Timantha: Let's go, we need to get packing before it starts to rain.
Cosmo: You mean in here or Seattle?

(Turner's packing)
Chloe: You guys are so lucky. While you're out in the constantly gloomy weathered Seattle, I have to go to the dentist. Somehow, they say they might do something about the gap in my upper teeth.
Ivan: Don't worry Chloe, I'll be sure to keep you safe.
Astronov: And we'll be around you guys to make sure of it.
Neptunia: As long as there aren't any sharp needles at that dentist's office.
Sunny: We're gonna miss you guys.
Poof: You guys be safe in the dentist.
Ivan: We will, Poof. If there's any trouble, let us know.
Timmy: We will.
Timantha: See you all Monday.
Ivan, Chloe, Astronov, Neptunia and Sunny: Bye! (poof away)
Daran: C'mon kids, it's time to go to Seattle.
(Turner's walk out the door and sees Dinkleberg underneath the mobile van)
Dinkleberg: (sticks his head out) Oh, hey Turners. I thought I stop by and figure it would be nice to make a few arrangements for your van while you go out. Who knows what danger may hold.
Daran: Yeah, danger you've probably planted in the van. (looks around) Okay, nothing lethal anywhere. But don't think that's gonna change anything between us, you sick devil with a human face. Don't touch my precious van again!
Dinkleberg: Okay, Turner. (walk out) Have fun on your family trip.
Timmy: Thanks for the reminder, Mr. Dinkleberg.
Daran: Don't tell me what to do, you slave of Hades' Underworld! Quick everyone, (shoves his family inside) get in before that monster of a neighbor comes back for another attack. (quickly ran to the drivers seat and drive)
Timmy: Dad, that was horrible of you to say that to Mr. Dinkleberg! He was only making a few arrangements to the van so that we can go to Seattle and you say that. When are you going to stop hating him?! Besides, he didn't do anything bad to you.
Nataliya: Timmy's right, you know.
Daran: What do you mean that Timmy is right?
Timantha: Dad, big brother's right, you really need to stop dreaming that Mr. Dinkleberg is evil. He's not a sick devil with a human face, he's only trying to help. If it weren't for him making a few arrangements for the van, who knows what dangers out there will be waiting for us in Seattle.
Daran: Well, I suppose I'll let this one slide for today.
Nataliya: Let's just hope that no threats will be on our way during the trip.
(the Turner's Mobile Home drives through another mobile home where the Turnbaums pop up)
Mrs. Turnbaum: Well, Pa, looks like our look-alikes are out on another family trip.
Mr. Turnbaum: Indeed they are, Ma. (both comes out of the shadows) Those Turners are going to pay for making us do hard time.
Mrs. Turnbaum: Whatever they have planned, we will be sure to make it backfire.
Mr. Turnbaum: Yes, and there will be no messing around with THE TURNBAUMS!! (Mrs. Turnbaum glares at her husband) I got to stop doing that.

(Turner's Mobile Home arrives)
Nataliya: According to this GPS, we should be in Seattle right about... (rain appears) now.
Male Cop #1: Identification, please?
Daran: Ehh, yes, sir. (pulls up his I.D. card)
Female Cop #1: You may enter.
(Turner's drive)
(Turnbaums follow them with their mobile home until the cops arrive)
Male Cop #2: Well, well, well. If it isn't the nasty, thieving Turnbaums.
Mrs. Turnbaum: (wearing fake make-up) I told you these disguises didn't work.
Mr. Turnbaum: (takes off his fake glasses and mustache) What a waste of two bucks!
Male Cop #1: You two are wanted in twelve states counting this one.
Female Cop #2: That's right. Now make like cockroaches and get out of here!
Mr. Turnbaum: What should we do, Ma?
Mrs. Turnbaum: Hmmm...
(scene skips showing the cops all tied up)
Male Cop #3: How did they do that?
Female Cop #3: They've distracted us with our weakness.
Male Cop #1: Oh, come on. Not all cops should like donuts.
(The Turnbaums ran off laughing)
Rebecca: Don't worry, I'll find a way to take them downtown.
Male Cop #2: Thanks, Officer Amber. We could always count on you.
Rebecca: The best way to take down a criminal is to think like one. (unties the cops) Now, I'm not sure what those fiends are planning on doing, but I'll put a stop to this. (takes off) Wish me luck.

Timantha: Well, at least the rain cooled down for us to enjoy a family dinner.
Natalyia: I can't believe we were able to make reservations at the fanciest dinner table in this place.
Daran: Ooh, I know. It's almost like magic.
(Timmy looks at his fairies disguised as condiments winking at Timmy)
(The Turnbaums a few tables away concealing their faces with newspapers)
Mrs. Turnbaum: We're going to make their amazing dinner the best for last.
Mr. Turnbaum: We're in luck. Luckily, I took the liberty to mix their ketchup with flaming hot chilly sauce.
(waitress gives the Turners the ketchup bottle)
Daran: Thank you, Miss. (flirty) Thank you very much.
Nataliya: (push the waitress) Goodbye, now.
Daran: (picks up the ketchup bottle) Hey, I've specifically asked for a medium sized ketchup, not enormously short. (throws the ketchup bottle) The service here stinks.
(ketchup bottle falls down to the Turnbaums table)
Mr. Turnbaum: Ooh, ketchup. I need that for my burger.
(the Turnbaums pours the bottle unbeknownst to them was their mixed bottle; they eat their food; their eyes widely open with tears, their faces turn red and the two blow fire out of their mouths; both ran off screaming)
Mr. Turnbaum: The service here stinks!

(Turner's walking to the sidewalks until they ran to Chet Ubetcha)
Timmy: Chet Ubetcha? What are you doing here?
Chet: This is Chet Ubetcha answering, I'm here on vacation, which I can assume you all as well. I'm here to view the most rainiest cities in the Earth and see what kind of crime lurks around here. And due to the weather, who knows what kind of crooks be stalking us right now.
Timantha: That must sound really anxious to say in a way.
Timmy: Now I can see why Charlotte is so defensive.
Chet: I am also been assigned just now that someone around town is stealing pencils.
Daran: (with a pocket full of pencils) Well, wherever this selfish criminal is, he will be stopped.

(The Turner's skateboarding)
Daran: (repeatedly) Starlight express!
(ceiling breaks)
Cops: Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! (grabs Mr. and Mrs. Turner)
Nataliya: Hey, what's the meaning of this?!
Timantha: What's going on?
Female Cop #2: These two are under arrest for trespassing to a state they are wanted to.
Timmy and Timantha: What?!
Daran: But, we didn't do anything! If you have a missing pencil, it's not on me.
Timmy: Just what evidence to you have?
Male Cop #3: (pull up a video) Right here.
(close up to the video; The Turnbaums disguised as the Turner parents causing havoc all over Seattle framing the Turners)
Timmy: (gasp) The Turnbaums!
Timantha: Who are they?
Timmy: They are bandits who looks exactly like Mom and Dad. There was a mix up during our trip at Niagara Falls and I did everything I could to prove Mom and Dad innocent. (to the cops) Wait! My parents are innocent.
Rebecca: The kid's right.
Timmy: Officer Amber?
Rebecca: (drags the Turnbaums) These are the real criminals.
Mr. Turnbaum: Darn it!
Rebecca: Apparently, they've wanted revenge on their look-alikes for... well, the rest you already know. Take them away.
(cops takes the Turnbaums away)
Mrs. Turnbaum: We'll meet again, Turners.
Mr. Turnbaum: Yeah, we, THE SOUVENEIR BANDITS AKA, THE ACTUAL TURNBAUMS will get you two, and your bratty kids as well!
Mrs. Turnbaum: (while she and her husband get dragged in the police car) I got to get earplugs.
(cop car drives away)
Nataliya: Thanks for defending us, kids.
Timmy: Now we'll be able to enjoy our family vacation in one piece.
Male Cop #1: Not so fast. There's been a lot of complaints about missing pencils and we figured you all would be involved.
Daran: What makes you say that? (pencils in his pants rips holes through his pockets and falls to the ground)
(cops glare at Mr. Turner)
Nataliya: What did you do, Daran?!
Daran: I thought they were for anyone to have!
Timantha: No need to panic. I'm sure that the Seattle systems of justice will see us through.
Daran: My kids did it!
(Timmy and Timantha gasp; cut to the Turners hanging upside down near an executioner with a paddle)
Timantha: (to the fairies disguised as mice) (sigh) This may take longer than I thought.
(screen fades to black; Title Card ending)
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