Spouse Swapped!/Quotes
- (After Neptunia trashes Timmy's room)
- Astronov: (angrily) Neptunia, what is wrong with you?
- Neptunia: What's wrong with me?
- Astronov: After Cosmo & Wanda split up, you decide to ruin Timmy's room? Why?
- Neptunia: I DON'T KNOW! Some things just slip up in my brain!
- Astronov: You're pretty much the female equivalent of Cosmo! You're not bright, big words confuse you, and worst of all, you have the attention span of a rodent!
- Neptunia: At least I'm smarter than him!
- Astronov: Only a little bit!
- Ivan: Now, now, guys, why don't you both just calm down?
- Neptunia: Both? (yelling) I'M COMPLETELY CALM!!!
- Timmy: No, you're not!
- Astronov: Not to mention, your temper is out of control and you blow up over every little thing when I'm not around!
- Neptunia: Well, at least I feel something, as opposed to you! I seem to be into more fun than you are! You're just a big nag!
- Astronov: NAG?! That's it! We're through!
- Neptunia: It's over, Astronov, we're done! (both activate their wands, DIVORCE!)
- Ivan: Great, my fairy godparents broke up with each other. And on their wedding anniversary, too!
- Timmy: That's two fairy couples in a row. Must be a new record.
- (in Fairy World)
- Neptunia: Ugh, Astronov always nags about something! He's just like Wanda! At least I broke up with him. (sees Cosmo in the distance, has hearts in her eyes) Alright, it's time to start living again! (to Cosmo) Oh, Cosmo!
- Cosmo: (angry) Neptunia?! What are you doing here? Can't you see I'm still bitter about breaking up with Wanda?
- Neptunia: (eyes back to normal) Sorry, Cosmo. I'm kind of bitter too, since I broke up with Astronov, who's a nag like Wanda.
- Cosmo: (surprised) Really? Huh, what a coincidence! (holds hands with her) So, uh, now that we're both single, you want to come over to my mother's home? We can live together there...that is, assuming my mother will be okay with you around.
- Neptunia: Your mother, Mama Cosma? The one that really dislikes Wanda?
- Cosmo: Bingo!
- Neptunia: (flirting) Sounds great... handsome.
- Cosmo: (nervously laughs, blushing) Kind of awkward, huh?
- Neptunia: (blushing aswell) Yeah. Astronov told me that I'm the female equivalent of you.
- Cosmo: I'll take that as a compliment.
- (Cosmo and Neptunia come over to Mama Cosma's house)
- Cosmo: Mama, I... I broke up with Wanda.
- Mama Cosma: Really? That's great! Who is this girl?
- Cosmo: Oh, that's Neptunia, she broke up with Astronov and became my girlfriend. She and I pretty much think alike. She's so pretty!
- Neptunia: Oh, stop!
- Mama Cosma: Hmm, I guess I won't be needing these for now. (pulls out the Star and Twinkle fairy robots, who have their eyes closed, and puts them in her closet) Well, I'm just glad that my boy has found another love, and one that's almost exactly like my son! Normally, I don't accept any real fairy girls around the house and only allow robot fairies, but in Neptunia's case, I'll make an exception.
- Neptunia: (excited) THANK YOU, MAMA COSMA! (calm) Seriously, thanks. (to Cosmo) Your mother's great, Cosmo! I love you! (hugs Cosmo, who sighs, lovestruck)
- (meanwhile)
- Astronov: It's not fair. Why does she keep ruining things?! I try to be as cautious as possible, but Neptunia just keeps on causing more danger to Ivan! Not all the time, though, but the point still stands. (sigh) Just like High School all over again... I just need someone who's as careful as I am. (looks over at Wanda with Poof) Maybe there's another way...
- Wanda: Without Cosmo, I'm left to be responsible for my baby! When I'm gone for a while, who's gonna take care of him?
- Astronov: Hi, Wanda. I know that you broke up with that idiot Cosmo, I broke up with my idiot wife, Neptunia. The point is that I can take care of Poof while you're gone.
- Wanda: Really? Oh, thanks, Astronov! I don't know what I'll do without you!
- Astronov: Just remember that I'll always be there for you.
- Wanda: I will, Astronov. Have you met my father, Big Daddy?
- Astronov: No. What's he like?
- Wanda: He may look tough, but he has a soft side. He really loves me and my twin sister, Blonda. Strangely, I haven't seen my dad since Mama Cosma kidnapped him and we rescued him.
- Poof: So, he doesn't know about me?
- Wanda: No. Did I mention that my father likes to sleep with a pink horse head plushie named Mr. Nay-Nay?
- Astronov: This Big Daddy sounds like a weird guy.
- Wanda: That's because he is a weird guy.
- (Astronov and Wanda come over to Big Daddy's house)
- Big Daddy: Hello, Wanda.
- Wanda: Hi, dad.
- Big Daddy: (pointing at Poof) What's that thing?
- Wanda: That's your grandson, Poof.
- Poof: Hi, grandpa Big Daddy.
- Big Daddy: All this time you manage to raise a godkid, and you didn't even bother to call me up about it when you gave birth to him?! Why is that?
- Wanda: You were busy paying attention to my sister, Blonda.
- Big Daddy: Oh, right.
- Wanda: And Cosmo's now spending some time being divorced.
- Big Daddy: Oh...sorry to hear that, Wanda. Who's this guy?
- Astronov: I'm Astronov, pleased to meet you. I broke up with Neptunia and decided to go with Wanda, she and I pretty much think alike.
- Big Daddy: I have a feeling we would be great partners.
- Astronov: I hope so.
- Big Daddy: And please, Poof, call me Big Grandpa.
- Poof: Okay, Big Grandpa.
- (At Mama Cosma's place, Cosmo sits down and starts watching TV. Neptunia is in a bath robe, with her hair tied up and is wearing a mud mask. She flies to Cosmo, holding a few dresses)
- Neptunia: Cosmo, what do think? This? Or this? Which goes better with my eyes?
- Cosmo: Just pick something!
- Neptunia: Oh, I give up! (flies into bathroom, a splash is heard) Would it kill you to leave the lid down?
- Cosmo: Would it kill you to look before you sit, Neptunia?
- Mama Cosma: Would you like some cookies, Cosmo? I've made them in the likeness of you and Neptunia!
- Cosmo: Sweet! Of course I'd like one of the cookies! (takes a heart-shaped cookie with Cosmo & Neptunia on it and eats one) Mmmm, these cookies are great!
- Mama Cosma: Glad you like them! (to Neptunia, who poofs up near Mama Cosma) I've made you a new costume! Would you like to try it out?
- Neptunia: Well, I don't see why not. (she goes offscreen) Wow, it looks great! (comes back, this time wearing an outfit similar to Star and Twinkle, consisting of white boots, a white skirt with dark blue edges and a white short shirt with no sleeves) How do I look, Cosmo? Tell me I'm pretty!
- Cosmo: (his jaw drops from Neptunia's beauty, he blushes) I'm... I'm speechless, Neptunia. Of course, you look pretty!
- Neptunia: Why, thank you, Cosmo! (kisses him on the cheek)
- Cosmo: This is the best day of my life.
- (at Dimmsdale Mall)
- Jorgen: (whispering) Psst. Over here!
- Ivan: Jorgen? What are you doing here?
- Jorgen: I came here as fast as I could when I heard the news.
- Timmy: Yeah, we know that we don't have fairy godparents now!
- Jorgen: No, you still have them, they just swapped their spouses.
- Ivan: Oh, I see. Now how are we supposed to fix this mess?
- Jorgen: Well, you must convince them to get back together.
- Timmy: I wish we were in Fairy World!
- Jorgen: Okay, good luck!
- (Timmy and Ivan get sent to Fairy World)
- Ivan: We need to find Cosmo. Now, where would he normally be?
- Timmy: Well, usually, when he is without Wanda, Cosmo goes to live with his own mother, Mama Cosma.
- Ivan: Astronov? What are you doing dating Wanda?
- Wanda: Oh, hi, Timmy & Ivan. You see, it all started when Astronov offered to take care of Poof in case I'm gone somewhere, and one thing lead to another.
- Astronov: Isn't it great, Ivan? I finally found my perfect match! Wanda's smart, just like me, and we think exactly alike about stuff.
- Ivan: It sure sounds wonderful for you. But don't you miss Neptunia?
- Astronov: Of course not! When you dump someone, it's time to move on with your life and find someone else.
- Wanda: Me and Astronov live with my father now.
- Timmy: Big Daddy.
- Ivan: Who?
- Timmy: Wanda's dad. He is Fairy World's garbage fairy, and his company, Big Daddy's Trash Removal, takes care of all the garbage stuff for Fairy World and garbage-related wishes made by godchildren.
- Astronov: He's a nice guy, in my opinion.
- Ivan: Well, I hope you'll be fine together.
- Timmy: Yeah, see ya later! (he and Ivan run off)
- Ivan: If Astronov is with Wanda and Big Daddy...
- Timmy: Then that means Neptunia's with Cosmo and Mama Cosma! Let's go!
- (they run to Mama Cosma's house)
- Mama Cosma: Hello, boys! What are you doing here?
- Ivan: Hi, Mama Cosma! We're just here to pay your son a visit.
- Mama Cosma: Cosmo's upstairs.
- Timmy: Thanks!
- (Ivan & Timmy go upstairs and accidentally bump into Neptunia in her new clothes)
- Ivan: Hi, Neptunia! You look beautiful in those clothes.
- Neptunia: Thanks, Mama Cosma made it for me. I'm so glad you're both here!
- Ivan: You are? So, how's your love life? Things aren't working out with Cosmo?
- Neptunia: Actually... they are! (Ivan & Timmy gasp) He's a very nice, handsome gentleman! We think exactly alike, too!
- Cosmo: (comes out of his room, covered in kiss marks) Plus, Neptunia and I are great kissers!
- Timmy: The heck is going on here? Did Mama Cosma brainwash you?
- Neptunia: No! Mama Cosma's actually a very nice fairy, she treats me with respect and I genuinely love Cosmo! We were practically made for each other! (she and Cosmo kiss)
- Cosmo: Also, Neptunia doesn't nag all the time like Wanda does!
- Timmy: Well, you got me there. But I'm sure Mama Cosma turned Neptunia into a robot that's programmed to love Cosmo like how she made those robots, Star and Twinkle!
- Neptunia: WHAT?! You think I'm a robot?!
- Ivan: Da, that's what Timmy thinks. (slaps him)
- Timmy: OW! What was that for?
- Ivan: Timmy, you dingus! Neptunia is not a robot! And appearantely, she developed romantic feelings towards Cosmo way before meeting Mama Cosma.
- Timmy: Oh, I see.
- Cosmo: Now, can you please leave? If you'll excuse me, I'm going to spend some quality time with Neptunia.
- Timmy: Fine, if that's how you want it. (to Ivan) Let's get out of here.
- (Ivan and Timmy walk out of the house, Ivan grabs a cookie and eats it on the way)
- Ivan: Tasty! Thanks for the cookies, Mama Cosma!
- Mama Cosma: You're welcome! I'll see you later, bye!
- Ivan: Y'know, Neptunia's right, Mama Cosma is a nice fairy.
- Timmy: Yeah, but she hates Wanda. Could you imagine if you or me had Cosmo & Neptunia as fairy godparents? The horror would be unimaginable!
- Ivan: You're right. But at least having Astronov & Wanda would be a fair advantage. Although, now that I think about it, they would be a bit strict...
- Timmy: We gotta make them re-unite...
- Ivan: But how do we do that?
- Jorgen: (poofs up next to Timmy and Ivan) By making them participate in a game show!
- Ivan: That's stupid.
- Jorgen: I'm sorry, but that's how Da Rules go, unfortunately. You can't just wish for them to get back together!
- Timmy: I suppose you're right.
- Ivan: And what game show should our fairies participate in to get back together?
- Jorgen: The Fairy Dating Game, hosted by Cupid!
- Ivan: Oh, okay. Thanks for the tip, Jorgen. (Jorgen disappears)
- (Mama Cosma's house, Cosmo watching TV, hitting sounds are heard from the TV)
- Cosmo: That dog is beating up his owner with an oar! Seriously, who does that?!
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