Rags and Riches/Quotes

(Turner's House; front yard; Timmy and Ivan made out of rubber are bouncing around until they stopped bouncing; their fairies turn them back to normal)
Ivan: Making responsible/irresponsible wishes sure is the best.
Timmy: You said it, pal. What do you say we check the fireworks later at night?
Ivan: Sounds like a perfect plan.
(later at night, Timmy and Ivan walks on top a hill until a security guard steps by)
Guard: Lo siento, children. This hill is restricted for kids with no money.
Ivan: But we do have money, just... not much.
Guard: What I mean is, if you are rich, which the both of you are not, then you can come to this now restricted hill, which you can't.
Timmy: Then who's this hill for?
Guard: My godchi... (clears throat) my child boss, Remy Buxaplenty.
(Remy walks on the hill)
Remy: Top hills are for the wealthiest people in town. Now, beat it!
(Timmy and Ivan angrily walk away)

(the next morning)
Ivan: Okay, who was that kid, and why is he such a snobby jerk?
Timmy: His name, as you already heard from his security guard is Remy Buxaplenty. One of the wealthiest children in Dimmsdale.
Ivan: You know him?
Wanda: Yes. He and Timmy had a bitter rivalry when they first met.
Cosmo: Not to mention having attempts to take Wanda and me away from Kimmy.
Timmy: Timmy!
Cosmo: Danny.
Timmy: The last time we've met, Remy's parents sent him to F.U.N Academy.
Ivan: What's the F.U.N Academy?
Timmy: Well, the F.U.N Academy is anything but fun. The "F.U.N" actually stands for "For Unruly Ne'er-Do Wells". Remy said it was a school with "no parents, no alarm clocks, fun games and unbelievable food", and so I wished for scholarship there, only to find out that Remy tricked me. He broke the truce that we had. Shallowgrave was the teacher in the academy. But, we soon completed the challenges and soon, Shallowgrave was defeated.
Astronov: Uh huh. What happened to the academy after that?
Timmy: I've heard that they closed it down for good, and Shallowgrave was fired.
Ivan: That's nice.
Timmy: And there was this other time when Remy's parents invited me and my parents to Remy's party.
Ivan: Then what happened?
Timmy: What happened is that, at first, me and my parents are enjoying ourselves. But, when I discover that Remy and his parents are laughing at us...
Ivan: Hold the phone. You'll finish the story later, okay?
Timmy: Okay.
Ivan: The point is, Remy knows that Timmy has fairies.
Poof: Which doubles their rivalry due to his fairy godparent, Juandissimo Magnifico.
Astronov: What... was... that... name?!
Neptunia: Don't say his name again! Don't say his name again!
Cosmo: Juandissimo Magnifico.
Astronov: (twitching angrily) Juan... Juan... Juan...
Ivan: Astronov, are you okay?
Neptunia: He doesn't like to hear that name.
Wanda: He was my boyfriend back in High School until I realized he's nothing but a two-timing, worn out, self-centered, despicable, load of...
Cosmo: (covering Poof's ears) Getting a little low there Wanda. He's a good cook, though.
Ivan: And what about you, Astronov? Did this Juandissimo do anything to you?
Astronov: If by anything, you mean, EVERYTHING!! He was my bully back in High School and I hoped to never see his smug face again.
Ivan: Okay then.
Timmy: I hope for your sake, Ivan, that Remy doesn't know about your godparents.
(Remy with a telescope from his house watching Timmy and Ivan with their fairies)
Remy: It appears that this Prestonovich has fairy godparents just like Turner. Looks like I'll have to do something about that.
(Remy's security guard transforms revealing himself as Juandissimo)
Juandissimo: Here you go again with your getting rid of other kids godparents schemes again. It'll never work.
Remy: It will Juandissimo! I will show those two who is the best godchild in town with the best life!
Edward: (heard) Hello, uh... umm...
Susan: (heard) Son.
Edward: (heard) Right, right. You in there, uhh... what was it again?
Juandissimo: You spoke too soon. (turns into a ferret)
(Remy's parents opens the door)
Edward: Rhonald.
Remy: It's Remy, father.
Edward: Of course it is. Anyway, your mother and I are going out to the beach.
Susan: Ah-hem.
Edward: I mean, visit my poor sick Aunt.
Susan: We would love for you to go, but, it's an adult situation.
Edward: (talking fast) Yes, and it's very hot in her house and your too young to have your skin burning. So, bye.
(Remy's parents storm off)
(Remy in tears)
(Timmy with a telescope from his house watching Remy)
Ivan: Wow, that's pretty sad. Now I understand why he's so snobby. You think we should make it up to him?
Timmy: Even if you could, I'd recommend not mentioning anything about magical beings.
Ivan: Then let's go.
Timmy: (gets dragged) Wait! I didn't agree to come.

(Remy's doorbell rings)
Remy: Mommy? Father?
(Remy opens the door revealing to be Timmy and Ivan)
Timmy: (talking fast) We just stopped by to say hello so, goodbye.
(Timmy nearly walks away until Ivan grabs him in the back of his shirt)
Remy: What do you two want?
Ivan: We've been hearing about your relationships with your parents and we wanted to cheer you up.
Remy: There's nothing you two can do to cheer me up. You or your godparents who are clearly disguised as (to Cosmo) your backpack, (to Wanda) your hat, (to Poof) and your gloves. Seriously, who wears gloves on a hot day in the middle of fall? (to Ivan) And as for you, I want you and your (to Astronov) sports hat (to Neptunia) and sports drink out of here!
Ivan: So, you know my little secret? I could say the same with your (to Juandissimo) "security guard."
(all fairies poof out of their disguises)
(Juandissimo spots Wanda rushes to her and shoves Cosmo out of the way)
Juandissimo: (holds Wanda's hand) It sure is bueno to see your fabulous face again, my little Wanda.
Wanda: I wish I could say the same to you, you flirty pig!
Cosmo: Yeah, why don't you fly back to your godchild before I go snail on you!
Juandissimo: Excellent choice. (turns Cosmo into a snail)
Ivan: Well, that was uncalled for.
(Juandissimo turns around and sees Neptunia, rushes to her and shoves Astronov out of the way)
Juandissimo: (holds Neptunia's hand) Hubba, hubba. Whoever you are, we clearly don't have to make a fight about this. Tell me, do you have a name that I would love to admire?
Neptunia: (smacks Juandissimo's hand) The name's Neptunia, you lousy creep!
Juandissimo: Neptunia? As in "Nerdy Neptunia" back in High School? Ay caramba! You sure have... changed... a lot.
Astronov: And you better back off of my wife before I use magic to turn my hand into a fist.
Juandissimo: I rather not. (turns Astronov into a snail)
Remy: There's only room for one godchild in this town and that is me.
Timmy: Remy, we both know you can never beat me. Just give it a rest and move on with your life, will you!
Remy: I wouldn't even if I wanted to. And if that's the case, if I can't take Cosmo, Wanda and Poof away from you, I might as well take away another kids godparents for a change, say (to Ivan) yours.
Ivan: Mine!?
Remy: That's right. I challenge you to a magical duel in Fairy World. And sense we've just met, I'll be fair. Loser, and that's you, will have to spend a whole week without his fairies magic.
Ivan: A whole week? But that'll give them magical backup!
Remy: No other way is better.
Ivan: Timmy, I can't do this! I don't want to challenge him.
Timmy: Don't worry, he has an ego that never stops. You'll be fine.
Ivan: (sharply inhales and exhales) Okay, fine. (to Remy) I accept your challenge.
Remy: Great! Now, let's go to Fairy World (Juandissimo raise his wand until Remy swipes it form him) with no magic. We're taking the long way.
Timmy: You mean to the rainbow?
Remy: Exactly. Let's go.
(everyone minus Cosmo and Astronov who are still snails walks out)
Cosmo and Astronov: Wait for us!
(Cosmo and Astronov in snail form slowly catches up with fanfare music playing)

(Fairy World)
(fairies cheering)
Jorgen: SILENCE!!! (fairies stop) Fairies and scrawny gentlemen, welcome to another round-up of Magical Duel! Okay, you can continue.
(fairies cheer)
Jorgen: The rules in these games are a bit different than last time. This time, the godchild must have faith in their godparent that they will always be there for them no matter what. Best two out of three wins! Loser will have to spend a week with no magic, which includes magical back-up. In my opinion, I don't see another way how this is going to work. Anyway, let the games begin.
(Timmy, Wanda and Poof in seats near the rest of the audience; Cosmo and Astronov still snails finally shows up panting)
Astronov: What did we miss?
Poof: You're just getting started.
Wanda: (turns Astronov and Cosmo back to normal) Get out there, Astronov. Ivan's counting on you.
(Astronov flies to Ivan)
Jorgen: Here is the first challenge: show your own personal talent, your godparents will have to be your objects of your talent.
Ivan: I wish you two were my drum sets!
(Astronov and Neptunia raise their wands and becomes drum sets)
Remy: I wish you were my bagpipe!
(Juandissimo raise his wand and becomes a bagpipe)
Jorgen: We'll start with you, Remy.
Remy: Prepare to be blown away.
(plays Juandissimo as a bagpipe which sounded awful; everyone covers their ears)
Jorgen: Dahh! Never thought anything sounds worse than the BG's.
Wanda: Good looks, but no talent!
Jorgen: Your up next, Ivan.
Ivan: Get ready.
(plays the drums really good; everyone sounds admired and dances along the rhythm)
Poof: Now that's a beat I'd like to dance with.
Jorgen: Round 1 goes to Ivan Prestonovich!
Ivan: Yeah!
Astronov and Neptunia: Wahoo!
Jorgen: Your next challenge will be to buy some candy from that human with the candy truck. He'll have his memory of this erased once this is all done. Go now!
Ivan: Wow, there's so much to buy, I can't make a good decision.
Remy: One chocolate candy bar, please?
(man passes the candy bar to Remy)
(Astronov and Neptunia smack their heads in dismay; Juandissimo makes a smug look)
Remy: Next time, think fast before buying something.
Ivan: D'oh!
Jorgen: Round 2 to Remy Buxaplenty!
Timmy: Aww, no! I can't stomach the fact that someday Remy might try to think harder in his attempts to take you guys and Astronov and Neptunia away from you Ivan and me.
Cosmo: One more round and it's over.
Jorgen: Here is the final round.
(crowd gasps)
Jorgen: The one is for all the marbles.
(Timmy and his fairies chattering their teeth biting their fingernails)
Jorgen: This last challenge is all about compassion and love.
Wanda: Wow, that's unlikely, even for Jorgen to say.
Jorgen: Remy, why do you love your godparent, Juandissimo?
Remy: Because, he's shown me that the world is nothing but trash for me to make better.
(audience disclaims; Ivan makes a look feeling sorry for Remy)
Remy: Even for a kid whom nobody has any love for, especially his own parents.
(audience plus Jorgen shreds to tears)
Jorgen: (wipes his tears) How... tragic. What about you, Ivan? Why do you love your godparents, Astronov and Neptunia?
Ivan: Why? Why? They're special to me. And what Remy said was true. Being a child can be very challenging. But it sure is worth it to fulfill your life, especially when you have fairy godparents to look after you, protect you from the world and always love you no matter what.
(Remy widely opens his eyes)
Ivan: And you know what they say, If you love something, set it free, even if it means I'll lose my memories of them once I get older and don't need them anymore. I love my fairies too much for them to be taken away at this point of time. And if that's what's going to happen, go! Take them away from me! Give them a new godchild to look after!
Astronov and Neptunia: (in tears; hugs Ivan) Oh, Ivan!
(Timmy, and his fairies whimpering)
Jorgen: (sniffling) Well, if that's the case, Ivan, then I'm left with no other choice but to...
Remy: Hold it!
All: Huh?
Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda and Poof: What?
Remy: Nobody's taking anybody away. I was a fool thinking that I'm always better. Hearing what you've just said, Ivan, I'm just like every other godchild on Earth. Jorgen, please don't take this kid's fairies away. He deserves them better than I.
Juandissimo: Remy, what are you doing?
Remy: Opening my eyes for once and doing the right thing. Goodbye, Juandissimo. For real this time. And don't even try to bonk me on the noggin for this.
Jorgen: Alright, Buxaplenty, if that's what you want, then...
Ivan: Wait! Let Remy keep his fairy as well.
Remy and Juandissimo: What?
Ivan: After I've been informed about everything of you, I feel that you should really use a friend who can help out with the situation.
Remy: You'd do that, for me?
Ivan: I'd do anyting for new friends, even ones with godparents, even by having you to spend more time with your parents. Deal?
Remy: (smiles) Deal.
Jorgen: Well, looks like the games are officially a draw and two godchildren get to keep their fairies.
(everyone cheers; Juandissimo flexes with excitement and poofs up a new shirt)
(Timmy and his fairies walk up to Ivan and his fairies; Timmy and Ivan high five)
Timmy: You did it Ivan!
Ivan: No, (walks to Remy) we did it.
Remy: Actually, all credit goes to you. If it wasn't for you opening my eyes for who I was, I'd never have any friends.
Timmy: Well, Remy, old buddy, you got some now. Come on, Ivan, let's go home.
Ivan: Yeah, we got some wishes to make for the rest of the night.
Remy: Oh, I have a better idea.

Timmy: This is a whole lot better than a better idea, Remy. Watching the fireworks while standing in a spot near the waterfalls. I couldn't have thought better myself.
Remy: It's my pleasure. And sorry for the times I've tried to take your fairies away from you, Timmy old bean.
Timmy: No need to apologize. And just a suggestion, why not use your magic tomorrow to make your parents spend a little more time with you for the rest of the week?
Remy: That does sound like a good idea.
(camera points up to the fairies)
Wanda: Aww. They've set aside their differences and are finally friends, for real this time.
Cosmo: Who knows what the future will hold to their friendship.
Poof: Something good I hope.
Juandissimo: (flies near) Perhaps I should be a little more generous with you guys. How about a little reward for the both of you for finally standing up to me?
Cosmo: Oh, a nickel! I'm going to name you Lillian. Wait until I take you home for you to meet your sister, Phillip.
Juandissimo: I take it he thinks Lillian is a boy's name.
Astronov: No need for rewards, Juandissimo. You've given me more than enough back in High School. Allow me to return the favor. How's about a little P.B.?
Juandissimo: P.B.? What's P.B.?
(Astronov turns Juandissimo into a snail)
Astronov: Payback!
Juandissimo: Nothing's changed between us, huh?
Astronov: You can say that again.
Ivan: Alright, guys it's getting late. We should get home.
Timmy: Yeah, I'll see you all tomorrow.
Remy: Goodbye... new friends.
(everyone but Juandissimo walks out)
Juandissimo: Wait for me, Remy!
(trying to move fast; 'fanfare music playing')
Juandissimo: Oh, I am too sexy to move so slow!
(screen fades to black; Timmy and Ivan pop up)
Ivan: Timmy, can you tell me what happened when the Buxaplenty family laughed at you?
Timmy: Nah. Let's forget that ever happened.
Ivan: Oh, okay.
(Title Card ending)
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