Nutty Business/Quotes

(Timmy's room; Timmy dressing up)
Timmy: Okay, got my hat, badges and ready for another trip.
(Ivan walks in)
Ivan: Hey Timmy, are you ready?
Timmy: You bet. I'm so glad you've wanted to join the Squirrely Scouts, Ivan.
Ivan: Me too, I've always been the kind of person to go camping and getting rewarded.
Timmy: Well, with my dad around, it's completely messed up. He's not really scout leader material. So, I'd recommend taking the fairies with you.
Ivan: Why?
Timmy: (points outside his window, showing Mr. Turner strapped in a tree with rope) That's why.
Dad: Ehh! What is it with ropes these days? It's like tying a giant shoelace. (breaks free and falls on the ground) I'm okay, the pile of rotten fish I've stolen from angry bears broke my fall.
Ivan: Yeah, I'd figure taking the fairies with us is a good idea.

(Scout Bus)
Dad: Okay, Squirrley Scout credo, ten hut!
Scouts: ♪ We are little Squirrely Scouts, ♪
♪ We like to hoard our nuts. ♪
♪ We climb up trees, and skin our knees ♪
♪ And shake our Squirrely butts. ♪
(fairies poof up in scout equipment)
Astronov: Isn't this nice? Our godchildren camping.
Neptunia: As long as I'm far away from the deep forest.
Astronov: Oh, I forgot. You have a phobia of the deep forest and when you're in there for a while, you get rabies and run amok.
Cosmo: I've ran amok once.
Wanda: In the middle of our 8000th anniversary, that is. He ran off during our dinner and left me to pay the bill.
Cosmo: I didn't know it was that expensive.

(Squirrely Scout camping site)
Dad: Alright, Scouts, this is one badge we shall never leave without, "Catching the rabid red-headed squirrel" badge.
Chester: Rabid red-headed squirrel?
A.J.: I thought they were a myth.
Dad: Oh, it's real alright. She's a squirrel you can never escape from if you trespass to her property. We will get that squirrel, even if one of us will never make it.
(fairies as squirrels on top of a tree)
Astronov: Timmy's Dad is nuts. And that's saying something due to the fact that he's wearing a squirrel related uniform.
Wanda: We should be careful ourselves. There are bears everywhere in this part of the forest.
Cosmo: Don't worry, no bear will scare us away.
Neptunia: Like the one behind us?
(Bear growls and roars; fairies scream and ran off)
(back to the scouts)
Ivan: I should've known your dad would put us in terrible danger.
Timmy: Don't worry, as long as we're together, nothing can hurt us.
Elmer: If I were you Ivan, I would be even more prepared on who we're competing.
Ivan: Competing?
(Horn honks; Cream Puff bus stops; Mrs. Turner and the Cream Puffs jump out of the bus)
Mom: Okay, Cream Puff credo. Ready girls?
Cream Puffs: ♪ We are little Cream Puffs, ♪
♪ We're fun and really cute. ♪
♪ Don't let your guard down too long, ♪
♪ or we'll might kick you in the boot. ♪
Ivan: Who are they?
Timmy: Those are our team rivals, The Sugar Cream Puffs. Don't underestimate them. They may look cute, but they are no lightweights.
Timantha: You can say that again, big brother.
Timmy: Timantha? I had a feeling you would join the Cream Puffs.
Timantha: I'm glad I was able to join. With me on the team, taking you guys down will be a snap. I'd figure you would wish that you guys were better than us, huh?
Timmy: I would, but it's against Da Rules to use magic for a competition.
Ivan: Looks like you're in double danger, Timmy. Both Timantha and Tootie in the same team together.
Tootie: (with hearts) Hi, Timmy.
Timmy: Hide me! (runs behind Elmer and Sanjay)
Sanjay: We will get that badge and rub it in their knee socks.
Elmer: Ugh! What is it with you and those Cream Puffs knee socks?
Sanjay: I have my own business and you have yours.
Dad: Looks like it's another competition between both teams again.
Mom: Okay then. Whoever gets the red rabid squirrel first will earn extra flavored marshmallows as a reward.
Dad: D'oh! You've put me on through my weakness! You're on!
Cream Puff #1: Those dumb squirrely scouts won't know what's coming to them.
Cream Puff #2: I'm not sure if this is such a good idea. I'm allergic to red rabid squirrels.
Cream Puff #3: Have you even seen one in real life?
Cream Puff #2: No, but I could have a reaction.
Cream Puff #4: You say that about everything.
Ivan: (looks up the tree) Hey, where's Astronov and Neptunia?
Timmy: Yeah, and where's Cosmo, Wanda and Poof?
(fairies still running from the bear)
Wanda: I think we've lost him.
Cosmo: Oh, thank goodness.
Poof: Hey, where's Miss Neptunia?
Astronov: Honey?
Cosmo and Wanda: (in unison with Poof) Neptunia?
Poof: (in unison with Cosmo and Wanda) Miss Neptunia?
(Neptunia in the middle of the forest panting)
Neptunia: I think we've lost him. (looks around) Astronov? Cosmo? Wanda? Poof? (looks around even more) Oh no. I'm in the deep part of the forest. (eyes get wonky) Can't lose my sanity...
(dramatic music; Squirrel Neptunia's mouth getting rabies, back fur sticks up; close up to her eyes turning bloodshot red; full body shown a rabid squirrel Neptunia growling and snarling)

(Squirrely Scouts walking in the middle of the forest)
Chester: This rabid red-headed squirrel sure does sound dangerous. Legend has it that she once chased away an entire family away from their house and they have to relocate.
A.J.: Yeah, I've heard that too.
Sanjay: I've heard that she gave a guy a haircut with nothing but her claws. It was so scary the man was bald for eight months.
Ivan: Whoever this Red-Headed Squirrel is, we sure don't want to run into her territory.
Timmy: Yeah, but first we have to find Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, Astronov and Neptunia. I'm sure this squirrel knows where they are.
(Squirrel chitters)
Ivan: What did it say?
Timmy: Do I look like I speak squirrel? Just because I'm a Squirrely Scout, that doesn't mean that I know how to speak squirrel!
Dad: Timmy, if you're done talking to squirrels, we have an abnormal one to find and capture.
Timmy: Coming, Dad.

(Cream Puffs searching)
Mom: Stay alert girls, who knows what this part of the forest brings.
Tootie: At least there are no annoying wooden creatures in this part of the forest, Mrs. Turner.
Mom: Thank goodness for that. I really lost it at that time.
(fairies in squirrel form ran to Timantha)
Timantha: Oh, hey guys. Switching sides to see who gets the rabid red squirrel, I see?
Astronov: No, we're looking for Neptunia. Have you seen her?
Timantha: No, not since you all were chased by that bear earlier. Don't worry, we'll find her.
Cream Puff #4: Hey, look, footprints.
(scene cuts to the Squirrely Scouts)
Dad: Oh, footprints.
(scene goes back and forth with the Scouts and Puffs)
Mom: I see.
Dad: Let's go, boys!
Mom: Let's get a move on, girls!
Dad: That...
Mom: ...rabid...
Mom: ...squirrel...
Dad: ...will...
Mom and Dad: (split-screen) ...ours!
(two teams follow the footprints, eventually, the teams bump into each other)
Dad: Oh, hello honey, how was your day?
Mom: Well, I was... Wait a minute. Nice try.
Elmer: The only way the Cream Puffs will get that squirrel is through our cold dead hands.
Cream Puff #2: Ehhh! Sounds gross, but worth it.
(soft growl)
Cosmo: Wow, I must be hungry.
Poof: I don't think that was your stomach growling.
(leaves rustling; what popped out of the leaves was...)
Scouts and Puffs: The rabid red-headed squirrel! Run!
(everybody runs away)
Mom: I've heard the legends lots of times, but I don't recall a crown on her head!
Ivan: Crown? (stops running) Wait a second. Timmy, wait!
(Timmy stops running)
Timmy: Ivan, what are you doing? Can't you see we're trying not to get a scary haircut?!
Ivan: Something tells me this isn't a rabid red-headed squirrel after all. It's just a regular squirrel.
Timmy: How can you tell. It's not like she ran in the middle of the woods and got... rabid?
Neptunia: (voice) As long as I'm far away from the deep forest.
Astronov: (voice) Oh, I forgot. You have a phobia of the deep forest and when you're in there for a while, you get rabies and run amok.
Neptunia: (voice) As long as I'm far away from the deep forest.
Astronov: (voice) Oh, I forgot. You have a phobia of the deep forest and when you're in there for a while, you get rabies and run amok.
Cosmo: (voice) Hi, Timmy! I'm inside your voice too.
Timmy: Of course, this red squirrel is Neptunia.
Ivan: I should've known.
Neptunia: (snarls)
Ivan: She doesn't want to hurt us. She just want our help to get out of the deep forest. C'mon, Neptunia, follow me.
(the rabid Neptunia follows Ivan and Timmy)

(camp grounds; everyone eating marshmallows)
Dad: I knew there was no such thing as a rabid red-headed squirrel the whole time.
Mom: But honey, you were the one who brought this whole thing up.
Dad: Now, let's not play the blame game. Let's just enjoy a nice relaxing treat while we still can.
Tootie: Marshmallow?
Timmy: Thanks.
(Tootie puckers her lips)
Timmy: (shoves her lips) Now, let's save that for another time. (walks away)
Tootie: (squealing) His hand touched my lips. (faints)
(Timmy walks to Neptunia recovering)
Timmy: How is she?
Timantha: She's doing fine. Still trying to get words out of her mouth.
Wanda: Come on. Say it with us. Obtuse.
Neptunia: Acute.
Cosmo: Rubber Goose.
Neptunia: What the duce.
Astronov: Green Moose.
Neptunia: Team Loose.
Ivan: Guava juice.
Neptunia: Whipped cream.
Poof: Giant snake.
Neptunia: Chocolate shake.
Timantha: I'm just glad things are in one piece.
Timmy: Yeah, and that there's no such thing as a rabid red-headed squirrel.
(camera zooms out showing a shadow of the real red-headed squirrel growling)
(The End?)

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