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Ingenious Valentine/Quotes

(Turner's house; Timmy's room)
Timmy: Alright, it's Valentine's Day! The one time of the year I can finally get a kiss from... Trixie!? What are you doing here?
Cosmo: (disguised as Trixie) Getting your attention early in the morning, letting you know that you're not my type. (laughs; turns back to normal)
Timmy: Very amusing. (walks away)

(Prestonovich house; front door)
Timmy: Hey Ivan, ready for the most lovable time of the year?
Ivan: You bet. I've already bought a whole wagon of chocolate for the whole school.
Neptunia: (in cat form) It was my idea.
Timmy: Time to get going.

(Sidewalk to A.J.'s house; A.J.'s depressed)
Ivan: Is there something wrong, A.J.?
A.J.: (yelling) WHAT'S WRONG? NOTHING'S WRONG!
Timmy: Woah! Calm down! Just tell us what's bothering you.
Chester: (popping out from underneath Ivan's wagon with chocolate on his face) He's depressed because there's no Valentine for him.
Ivan: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything we can do?
A.J.: Well, you guys are good at making things better for others. Think you and your floating computer programs can help me find a Valentine?
Timmy: Sure. Come on Ivan, time to get our shiny headed friend a love interest.

(Turner's house; Timmy's room; computer)
Timmy: Okay, A.J. so what kind of girl would you like?
A.J.: Well, I prefer someone who is as smart as me. Someone who looks pretty, likes karate to defend herself, oh, and like to help study amphibians. I am a vegetarian, and I'm too squeamish to disect frogs.
Ivan: Got a message and... (glares at the admirer's avatar) Wow, she's gorgeous!
Cosmo: Yeah, she looks like every man's dream. (Wanda angrily stares at Cosmo) For A.J., or course.
Chester: So, what are the details of her profile?
A.J.: Her name is Charlotte. She lives in Seattle, loves science and amphibians and has a desire to end world hunger.
Chester: It says that she also has a cousin named Emma, and an aunt named Vondila, who both live in Dimmsdale.
Timmy: Wow, she's just like you, but with hair.
Ivan: Minus the cousin and aunt thing, of course.
A.J.: (annoyed) Yeah, thanks for the reminder. (gasp) Of course! I don't have any hair! I can't let Charlotte know I'm a lonely scientific loser with a bald frame.
Timmy: No problem. With the right outfit, you'll be able to impress Charlotte.
(Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, Astronov and Neptunia raise their wands to give A.J. a new outfit; A.J. walks to the mirror)
A.J.: Cool! I look amazing, especially with hair.
Ivan: Ready to impress the new girl of your dreams?
A.J.: Absolutely.
Ivan: I hope I didn't make the mistake of hooking A.J. up with an admirer who is actually an old lady that spends her money on prune juice and blood transfusions.
Timmy: Yeah, I did that once to one of Vicky's boyfriends. He was evil, anyway. But hopefully, this won't happen again, especially not to one of my close friends.
(Phone rings; Chester picks it up)
Chester: Hello? It's for you, A.J..
A.J.: Hello? Oh, yes. I'm the admirer from not too long ago. What? Well, that's surprising news. Okay, bye. (hangs up, screams)
Ivan: What's wrong?
A.J.: That was Charlotte. She's leaving Seattle and moving to Dimmsdale by tomorrow!
(everyone gasps)

A.J.: Charlotte's coming to town tomorrow. What am I going to do?
Tootie: (in Timmy's window) I'll tell you what you're not going to do. (jumps out from the window into Timmy's room) You're not going to look at this girl until she sees you for the fraud you're going to be.
Wanda: Cosmo, didn't Timmy wish to have his windows Tootie-proof?
Cosmo: I thought he said smoothie-proof. Now we'll never be able to have a Friday night with sweets anymore.
Chester: You know, it might be the chocolate in my mouth talking, but Tootie may have a point, A.J. Why can't you just be yourself?
A.J.: Because, myself stinks! I have (takes off fake hair) no hair, (puts fake hair back on) I'm bad at social sports and I'm a nerd. For once, I'd like to have an equal individual who is not created by me as a different gender.
Timmy, Chester, Ivan and Tootie: (awkwardly) Okay...
A.J.: As Einstein as my smart witness, this new me will get the perfect woman.
Ivan: Uh, I wouldn't say woman, since she's probably the same age as us per-se.

(next day; Valentine's Day; School dismissal; kids and Mr. Crocker excitingly running out of the school)
Crocker: Yay! No more school!
(Timmy and A.J. walking out of the school)
Timmy: I'm telling you A.J., she will like you for who you are.
A.J.: I suppose. Do you think she'll like me with or without hair?
Timmy: Sure.
(while still walking to A.J.s house, A.J.'s still asking questions to Timmy about Charlotte)
A.J.: Do you think she'll like me wearing a sweater vest? I mean, it is a girl magnet.
Timmy: (annoyed) I'm sure she'll love it.
A.J.: Okay. You think she'll...
(speeding taxi stops right in front of Timmy and A.J., who both scream)
Timmy: Are you blind!?
A.J.: Let me handle this, Timmy. This is my day and I'm not going to let some minimum wage taxi driver ruin yours as well.
(A.J. walks to the driver)
A.J.: Alright pal, what's going on? Don't you know there's love around the world this time of year?
Taxi Driver: Sorry bud, I'm usually not the kind selfish minimum wage driver around. But, there is someone in the back who's meaning to come and see you.
A.J.: (looks at the back door open and walk towards it) Okay crazy person, if you want to see me get killed like this, I'd rather learn karate right now and kick you in the BUUHHHH....
(camera pulls up to Charlotte)
A.J.: Buh... buh... buh...
Charlotte: If you're trying to say butt, you're doing a poor job of it if you are willing to kick mine. I know a hundred and sixteen forms of martial arts and believe me, you don't want to put a finger in my hand.
Timmy: You must be Charlotte.
Charlotte: And you must be someone who can take back some beaver's teeth you are borrowing.
Timmy: Hey!
Charlotte: (laughs) Just yanking ya. So, you must be Timmy Turner.
Timmy: That's right. And this perfectly normal non-fraud young man here is A...
(A.J. falls on his face, Timmy picks him up)
Timmy: (clears his throat) This is A.J.
Charlotte: So, you're my secret admirer for Valentine's Day. (A.J. sweating) Um, hello?
(Timmy slaps A.J.)
A.J.: E=mc square!
Charlotte: So, you a genius too?
A.J.: That's right. (pulls out his Mensa award) I'm the class genius of Dimmsdale Elementary. Almost everyone considers me as a nerd, but I don't care. I am who I am.
Timmy: (to A.J.) Very poor choice of words.
Charlotte: Well, you are kind of cute and very smart. Fortunately, I'm more into guys with no hair and a sweater vest. It's like a girl magnet and I'm very attracted to it.
A.J.: (laughs nervously) Yeah, those kind of guys do look rich. As for me, I have an I.Q. of a hundred and forty.
Charlotte: Really? Well, I don't want to brag but... (talks really fast; Timmy and A.J.'s wide open) and that's why I have an I.Q. of a hundred and eighty. (pulls out her Mensa award)
A.J.: You have a Mensa award as well?
Charlotte: Yep. Number one of my class back in Seattle.
Timmy: And the award is pure gold. Nice.
(Charlotte pulls up a switch out of her pocket)
Timmy: What's that?
Charlotte: Oh, just a switch to my secret lab.
A.J.: S... S... Secret Lab?
(Charlotte push the button to transport A.J., Timmy and herself to her lab, but accidentally teleport to Timmy's living room)
Charlotte: Uh! This thing still needs a few bugs.
Dad: Hi Timmy!
(Charlotte push the button again, this time to her lab)
Charlotte: Welcome to my lab.
(camera views Charlotte's lab)
A.J.: Wow! This kind of stuff I can't even afford.
Charlotte: So, you have a laboratory too?
A.J.: Oh, yes. Only much more advanced.
Charlotte: Is that so? Well, I'll be there in an hour to see it myself then.
A.J.: (nervously) Wait, what?
Charlotte: You heard me. If this lab of yours is so advance, than I want to see it for myself.
A.J.: Well, okay.
Charlotte: I'll see you boys soon. (flirts with A.J.) Especially you. (pushes her button to teleport A.J. and Timmy out of her lab) So cute yet so naive, that's clearly fake hair he's wearing.

(Timmy's room; A.J. chattering his teeth)
Astronov: He's been chattering his teeth for half an hour.
Ivan: And he's going to lose Charlotte in the next half hour if he doesn't get a hold of himself.
A.J.: You know what, I'm just going to do it.
Chester: Show her your lab?
A.J.: No! (takes off the fake hair) I'm going to tell Charlotte the truth. And this time I'm not going to hand over a note for what I truly feel.
Tootie: Just like this note Charlotte handed over to you?
A.J.: What? (picks up the note and reads it) "Dear A.J., I've been cornered by a crazy red head with a chainsaw. Come and save me, Charlotte." Crazy red head? (gasp)
Everyone: VICKY!!
Timmy: Don't worry A.J., we'll take care of this.
A.J.: Thanks Timmy, but Charlotte is my girlfriend, and it's up to me to stop Vicky. (opens the window) Wish me love. (jumps out of the window and lands on Mr. Turner off-screen) I'm okay. Mr. Turner broke my fall.
Dad: (heard) It's raining bald kids!

(Charlotte cornered by Vicky)
Vicky: Well, well. Another twerpette to torture. Perhaps it's time I give you a warm welcome. (pulls up her chainsaw)
(Charlotte screams)
A.J.: Not so fast Vicky. (wearing his regular clothes)
Charlotte: A.J.!
A.J.: If you want her, you got to get through me. (Vicky easily corners A.J.) Well, that's all I got.
Vicky: If that's what you want then your new girlfriend is going to get a front row seat.
(close up to Charlotte's eyes turning mad)
Charlotte: ​(off-screen) Hi-yah!
​Vicky: ​Huh?
(Charlotte in a martial arts outfit charges to Vicky and attacks her; screenshots of Charlotte taking down Vicky; Vicky is defeated)
Vicky: (little kid voice) Can I have some chocolate, daddy? (passes out)
A.J.: Charlotte, you saved me.
Charlotte: Humph! (cross her hands and looks away)
A.J.: Look, I'm sorry for lying to you. I never know somebody in the world will be smarter than me. I... I was completely anxious that my lab will never be as good as yours. You have every right to be mad at me. Well... I'll be going.
(Charlotte opens her eyes and turns around)
Charlotte: A.J., I don't care if anyone's lab is as good as mine. It's you that I care about.
A.J.: Really?
Charlotte: Yeah, I've always looking forward to have someone with bright intelligence and a lab of his own.
A.J.: I've been doing the same thing as well.
Charlotte: What I'm looking forward to now is a gift. For experimentation.
A.J.: (pulls up a frog) Frog?
Charlotte: Yes! Just what I need. (kisses A.J.)
A.J.: Wow! That was the best kiss I ever had. And my only one which is not from my mother. Happy Valentine's Day, Charlotte.
Charlotte: Happy Valentine's Day, A.J. And if you ever lie again, I'll show everyone in school a recording of you.
(A.J.'s recorded voice) Hi, I'm A.J., and I (gruffy voice) cheated on my girlfriend.
A.J.: I never cheated on my girlfriend.
(Charlotte pulls up another recording of what A.J. just said along with the first recording)
(First recording) Hi, I'm A.J., and I (second recording) cheated on my girlfriend.
A.J.: Don't worry, that will never happen.
(both hug)

Timmy: (Tootie hugging him) Well, A.J.'s happy, and other Valentines are successful.
Ivan: Yep, so what are you going to do with Miss Huggie here?
Timmy: Nothing, it's Valentine's Day. I'll just roll with it until tomorrow.
Wanda: This sure is one sweet Valentine's Day.
Astronov: It sure is.
(Cosmo and Neptunia poof up)
Cosmo: Here you go, guys.
Wanda: Chocolate!
Astronov: Extended books!
Wanda and Astronov: It's perfect!
Wanda: Happy Valentine's Day, Cosmo.
Astronov: Happy Valentine's Day, Neptunia.
(spouses hug each other)
Neptunia: It's Valentine's Day?
(Title Card ending)
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