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Imaginary Irina/Quotes

(The Prestonovich House; Mrs. Prestonovich is cooking borscht in a pot, Ivan walks over to her, holding a white box)
Ivan: Mom, what are you doing right now?
Mrs. Prestonovich: Making some borscht, Ivan. What do you want?
Ivan: I've just bought this new St. Basil's Cathedral building set by Locko! (close-up of the box, Astronov and Neptunia can be seen admiring the cathedral) Wanna go and build it with me?
Mrs. Prestonovich: Sorry, Ivan, but I can't. Lunch is important to me right now, I have to wait for the soup to cook. Also, I'm not very good at building stuff by Locko.
Ivan: Have you even considered reading the instructions?
Mrs. Prestonovich: Yeah, but there are times where there can be missing pieces. Why don't you go and ask your father instead?
Ivan: Okay. (goes to his dad, who is watching soccer on TV) Dad, wanna build a Locko set?
Mr. Prestonovich: Сынок, я был бы рад построить с тобой Собор Василия Блаженного из конструктора Locko, но я не хочу прозевать футбол, так что это подождет. (Son, I'd be glad to build St. Basil's Cathedral out of Lockos, but I don't wanna miss soccer, so, that'll have to wait.) Смотри куда кидаешь мяч, болван! (Watch where you're kicking the ball, moron!)

(Ivan's room)
Ivan: (sigh) You know, it's days like this when I really miss Irina.
Astronov: Who's Irina?
(Ivan reaches under his bed and pulls out a box. There is writing on the top of the box that reads 'Ivan's stuff - age 5'. Ivan opens the box, and inside are some plastic bricks, a handheld game, a cassette tape, a Rubik's cube, a photo album called 'Жизнь в фотографиях', and a drawing.)
Neptunia: What's all this stuff?
Ivan: This is the stuff I used to play with when I was five. (pulls out a drawing of him and Irina) And this is my imaginary girlfriend, Irina. She was pretty and cool. Before I had you guys, I used to play with her all the time!
(Ivan pulls out the photo album from the box, and opens it. The first picture is Ivan riding on a swingset, with another one in an empty seat)
Ivan: There's me and Irina on the swingsets. Irina didn't feel like riding one that day, just sitting on it. (The next picture shows Ivan reading a book) And me and Irina studying English. (The third picture shows Ivan watching TV) And me and Irina watching our favorite shows on VHS. (The fourth picture shows Ivan at a therapist) And me and Irina in therapy! (The fifth picture shows Ivan kissing Irina on the lips, who is invisible as she is part of Ivan's imagination) Whenever I was alone and needed somebody to play with, or go on a date, Irina was always there. (closes the photo album, puts it away, and pulls out the drawing) And you guys could bring her here! I wish my imaginary friend, Irina, was real!
(Astronov and Neptunia look at each other, then wave their wands. The drawing begins to sparkle as Irina begins to fly out of it. IMAGINARY! Irina, who is now real, is standing in Ivan's room.)
Irina: (gasps) Huh, what? I'm free? Finally! (to Ivan) Hi, Ivan!
Ivan: Wow, Irina, it is you! (lovestruck) Still as beautiful as ever... (hugs her, then tries to kiss her, but Irina shoves him away)
Irina: Hey, whoa, whoa! (sniffs) Did you eat something salty today?
Ivan: Yes, some cheese and onion potato chips. At least it's not garlic.
Irina: Ok. Here's my rule: no kissing in public, Ivan! Potato chips are cool, but public displays of affection are not cool, especially if you didn't use mouthwash beforehand.
Astronov: Hmm, she seems like a cool girl.
Neptunia: That's because she is cool! Right, Irina?
Irina: Right, Astronov and Neptunia. You're both quite cool.
Astronov and Neptunia: Thanks.
Ivan: So, Irina, wanna build the St. Basil's Cathedral out of Lockos?
Irina: Hmm...no.
Ivan: Why not?
Irina: Locko building sets are cool, don't get me wrong, but I just don't feel like building things today.

(in the kitchen, Ivan's mom is cooking borscht, her husband comes over, happily)
Mr. Prestonovich: Наша футбольная команда победила! (Our soccer team won!)
Mrs. Prestonovich: That's great, dear. Who wants borscht?
Ivan: We do!
Mrs. Prestonovich: "We"? What do you mean by "we", son?
Ivan: Me and Irina.
Mrs. Prestonovich: (worried) Irina? Your-your imaginary friend? Is she back?
Mr. Prestonovich: Я думал, что мы от неё избавились в терапии! (I thought we got rid of her in therapy!)
Irina: (appears by the kitchen door) Hey, Mr. and Mrs. P.
(Mr. and Mrs. Prestonovich look at Irina in shock. Irina walks over to them.)
Mrs. Prestonovich: I guess she wasn't imaginary, after all.

(Outside, Timmy approaches Ivan and Irina)
Timmy: Hey, Ivan. Who's that?
Ivan: Timmy, meet my imaginary girlfriend, Irina.
Irina: Pleased to meet you, Timmy.
Timmy: Uh, you too. (to Ivan) What did you do?
Ivan: Well, Timmy, let's just say that I wished for my imaginary girlfriend to become real.
Timmy: Oh. (to Irina) Excuse us for a moment, Irina, I need to talk to your boyfriend.
Irina: Okay!
(Timmy, his fairies and Ivan go hide in Timmy's treehouse)
Timmy: Have you lost your mind, Ivan?!
Ivan: Ex-squeeze me?
Wanda: You just let your imaginary friend loose!
Ivan: So what? Nothing bad's gonna happen.
Timmy: Nothing bad? Dude, I once wished for my imaginary friend, Gary, to be real as well, and it only led to more trouble. And since your imaginary friend Irina is a girl, just think of what would happen if she found out you're in a relationship with Veronica!
Ivan: Chill out, Irina's not gonna find out about me and Veronica.
Cosmo: But she will soon!
Ivan: Uh, where is Gary now?
Timmy: He's on Unwish Island right now.
Ivan: Oh, right, now I remember. The last time you mentioned Unwish Island was when you wondered how Dark Laser escaped from there, and later became your enemy.
Cosmo: Ah, Gary. The so called imaginary friend who really doesn't like Timmy, tried to kill Wanda, Timmy and I inside Timmy's subconscious and later wanted revenge by capturing his parents, friends and back-up friends in order to lead the three of us to Unwish Island but made a deal with Timmy by wishing up Timmy clones for Gary and the other un-wished wishes in order to have a wonderful time in their home. Good times. Goooood times.

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