Friend or Fiendish Canine/Quotes

(The Turner's House)
(the sun rises; Timmy wakes up)
Timmy: (yawns) Another weekend is here. No school, (tears a picture of Vicky in half) no sour sweet 16 babysitting me anymore, just a nice relaxing weekend with friends, family and fairies.
(jumps off the bed and fell on a pile of dirt; Timmy breaks free of the dirt and spits it out of his mouth)
Timmy: A pile of dirt all over my bedroom floor?! This can only mean one thing.
(Timmy turns his head; camera points to the window showing Sparky taking off)
Timmy: (opens his window) Stupid dog! You're making my morning look bad!
(Cosmo, Wanda and Poof as fish swim out of the castle)
Wanda: Let me guess, Sparky again?
Timmy: Who else?
Cosmo: Well, to be honest, I was sleep floating last night and thought I was helping Wanda's father with his lawn.
Timmy: Sparky has gotten even worse now that he's with the L.O.S.E.R.S.! It's every weekend I have to put up with this!
Poof: Can't be worse then the last few weekends.
(flashback #1)
Daran: Well done, Squirrely Scouts. You've done well achieving your "Go through two days without eating" badge. (pulls out a big bag) I think you earn a reward.
Scouts: Yay!
(Daran pulls the zipper releasing the food which turns out to be stale dog chow full of dog drool)
(Scouts disgustingly moan)
Timmy: (to himself) Sparky!
(flashback #2)
(Timmy stands near Brianna's vault)
Timmy: Okay, now that your vault is safe back home, let's crack it open to make sure nothing is missing. (cracks the vault) Now, what we have here is...
(fleas pop out)
Ivan: Fleas!?
(the fleas jump all over Chloe, Trixie, Brianna and Charlotte as they try to run away from them)
Brianna: Eww! Eww!
(the fleas bite them turning them into dogs)
Chloe: Werf! Werf!
Timmy: Magical fleas!? Sparky!
(flashback #3)
(Fairy World)
(Billy Crystal Ball onstage)
Billy Crystal Ball: And that's how The April Fool got his name. He was born in April and acts like a fool every day.
(everyone even the April Fool laughs)
The April Fool: That's what's up with that. It's funny because it's true!
Billy Crystal Ball: Hope you all enjoy the show. Your chocolate pudding standing on your desks is my way of thanking you all for coming.
(everyone opens their mouths about to eat their pudding when they were all heard off-screen spitting and gagging)
Astronov: This is dog doo!
(Neptunia bends down throwing up)
Cosmo: That's even worse than Reindeer chocolate!
Timmy: (echo) Spaaaaarkyyyyy!!!!
(flashbacks over)
Timmy: I've had it! We need to think of a way to get Sparky off our backs if we want to survive another weekend.
Cosmo: I'm way ahead of you, man. We just need nip, a bowl of milk, and thirty ton pile of yarn and Sparky's off our case forever.
Wanda: Those things are for cats.
Cosmo: Hey, that sounds even easier. We poof up hundreds of them for Sparky.
Poof: Even if we do that, he'll come right back with his mischief.
Nataliya: (heard) Oh, Timmy, breakfast!
Timmy: We'll think of something. Right now, I need to get eating.
(walks out of his bedroom door)
Timmy: (heard) Uh, what's with the torn up mail woman clothes?
Timantha: (heard) Don't get me started on how I woke up with these clothes on.

(The Crocker Cave)
Crocker: Nice job poofing up the dirt on the floor and and mail woman outfit, Sparky.
Foop: Yeah, I'll admit, I had my doubts of you, but in a way, you had it in you.
Sparky: Yeah. Sometimes, I'm not sure who is more evil: me, or my anti-counterpart.
Foop: (shivers) I think we both know the answer to that.
Sparky: Still, I do feel bad for what I'm doing.
Dark Laser: Just keep feeling bad. It makes it feel good in you. Just ask Flipsie.
Flipsie: I may be a toy, but that's what makes me feel special. Arf, arf!
Crocker: (to Foop) Good thing we have an actual dog on our side. (to Sparky) And I don't get why you feel guilty. Turner's the one who kicked you out of his life. You own nothing to him.
Sparky: I suppose that's true.
Dark Laser: And to make this weekend worth living, we'll let you do the honor of destroying Timmy.
Sparky: Umm...
(Crocker, Foop and Laser stare at Sparky while he's thinking of his decision)
Sparky: I'll do it.
Crocker: Now that's a good dog.
Foop: Good at being bad.
(Crocker, Foop and Laser laugh; Sparky makes an anxious look)

Chloe: Okay, Timmy, if we want to be rid of Sparky, we need to think of something big.
Neptunia: Big as my hair?
Ivan: I prefer something like making something so bad, he'll have to leave town for good.
Timantha: That's a great idea, Ivan.
Timmy: And what's also a great idea is taking off those torn up mail woman clothes so he won't strike twice during your sleep.
Timantha: Good point. I wish I had on my regular clothes.
(Cosmo, Wanda and Poof poof up her regular clothes)
Astronov: So, we're all in on this?
Timmy: Totally, Sparky leaves out of our lives today.
All: Yeah!

(everyone sets up stuff around the neighborhood for Sparky)
(The L.O.S.E.R.S. watch from a distance)
Foop: Oh, please. Even that kind of bait won't stop an Anti-Fairy. Unless it's Chicken Corden Bleu, then I'd have to go there.
Crocker: Here's your chance, dog. Go out there and show Turner who's the real master.
(Sparky flies to Timmy and others)
Sunny: Here he comes.
Timmy: Everyone, get behind me. I'll deal with him.
(everyone walks behind the bait)
Sparky: Nice to see you again, Timmy.
Timmy: Somehow, I like you better housebroken.
Sparky: And I'd like to see your hat on top of smoldering ash (pulls up a charging laser) which will soon be your body.
Timmy: Come on, Sparky. It's me, remember?
(Sparky blasts his laser but wasn't pointed to Timmy)
Timmy: (panicked) Okay, I can see that was a warning shot.
Ivan: We can't just stand around. We have to help him.
(the fairies pop out of hiding and raise their wands; Sparky blast the wands out of the fairies hands and catches them)
Sparky: One wrong move and Timmy's beaver toast!
Timmy: (walks backwards) Sparky, please. You don't want to do this! (slips and falls)
Sparky: (charges his blaster) Oh, I think I do.
Timmy: No, you don't! You're letting what the others say get to you. Look, I'm sorry for kicking you out of the house. I should've known better. I mean, you are a dog. Dogs pull up mischief all the time.
(the charging on the blaster grows larger)
Timmy: If you destroy me now, there will be regrets. I take back all the bad stuff I say about you. It doesn't matter. You were loyal. You were kind and to top it off, you are my dog, Sparky. (close his eyes) I love you!
(Sparky's eyes widely open as Timmy's echo "love you" is still going until flashbacks appear)
Timmy: This is your new home, Sparky.
Timmy and Sparky: Shazee!
(Sparky licks Timmy)
Sparky: I'm gonna face my fear by showing that vacuum cleaner who's boss!
Timmy: Those other Timmy's are me, and they love the same things as I love, and I love Sparky.
Timmy: Ha! You missed me! But I got you... on camera. Sparky filmed the whole thing!
Sparky: In HD. I mean, Woof. Bark. Dog sounds dogs make.
Timmy: Thanks Sparky, you make everyone happy. You're the best dog ever.
(Mr. and Mrs. Turner hug along)
(flashbacks over)
Sparky: I can't do it.
Foop: Fool! What do you think you're doing?
Sparky: Coming to my senses for the first time of my life!
(poof up a giant three headed hydra)
Cosmo: Snowball!
(the hydra roars)
Sparky: I'm calling it quits. Sic em.
Dark Laser: I'm afraid he isn't bluffing!
Crocker: I say we run now.
(the L.O.S.E.R.S. run away screaming as the hydra chases them)
Timmy: Sparky, what's going on?
Sparky: Seeing who I am is what's going on. You're right, Timmy. I am mischievous and just saddened to be a pet to anyone. I know there's a lot of people who don't like me and wish I would go away, and I think we got off on the wrong foot. I know I can come off a little proactive, and for that I'm sorry. But if everyone could find a place in their hearts for the fairy dog that nobody wanted, I know you can forgive me for what I did to you in the past.
Wanda: Well, I'll be honest with you, you sure were a disaster when it came to being Timmy's new pet. But, in a good way most of the time. So, in a way, we forgive you.
Sparky: Thanks, Wanda. That really means something to me.
Cosmo: So, what are you going to do now? You're not on the bad side anymore, and Timmy's parents will never let you back.
Sparky: I'll improvise. And you don't have to worry about me anymore. You are all home free.
Timmy: So, I guess this is goodbye, huh?
Sparky: I'll still be around. Just enjoying the views around town.
Astronov: Well, Sparky, we all hope you'll find something worth living.
Ivan: Before you go, I want you to have this.
Sparky: Oh, a non-ripping tennis ball! Thanks.
Chloe: Sparky, even though I've known you for a short time and I'm more of a cat person...
Neptunia: Who, me?
Chloe: I just want to say to you that I knew there still was some good in you. If you're ever around when we need an ally, we'd love to have you.
Sparky: Much obliged, Chloe. Well, I better get started with a new leaf. (flies away) Goodbye!
(everyone waves goodbye)
Timantha: He sure is a good dog.
Timmy: He sure is, sis, he sure is.
Wanda: I miss him already.
Cosmo: I think he would make a great career. Like starring in a TV show playing the role of a talking fairy dog.
Poof: That is if he doesn't receive a lot of negativity.
(screen fades to black)
(Crocker, Foop and Laser still being chased by the hydra)
Crocker: Of all creatures, this one we're being chased after would not be something even I would like to keep as a pet!
(Title Card ending)
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