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Filthy Wishmouth/Quotes

Neptunia: Well, that Vicky gal is a (dolphin chirps) pain in the butt!
Cosmo: Yeah, she's a really (airhorn) babysitter.
Ivan: What the heck was that?
Astronov: Oh, nothing, champ. That's just one of those "sentence enhancers", as Neptunia and Cosmo call them.
Timmy: What's a sentence enhancer?
Cosmo: A sentence enhancer is a very unique kind of word. You use them when you want to talk fancy. You just sprinkle it over anything you say, and voila! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich!
Ivan: I wish Timmy & I learned those sentence enhancers.
Astronov: But you're too young to use those kinds of words, and you can't wish to say them.
Timmy: Why is that?
Wanda: Because (poofs up Da Rules) according to Da Rules, those kinds of words are very offensive and bad!
Ivan: But Neptunia and Cosmo just said those words!
Astronov: Just don't go around saying those words to other people, okay?
Timmy and Ivan: (in unison) Okay.
(Astronov, Neptunia, Cosmo and Wanda poof away)
Timmy: Let me try. (clears his throat) I'm Timmy Turner, and I'm doing (dolphin chirps) fine!
Ivan: Ha, good one! I've got one too: Vicky is icky as (airhorn)!
(both Timmy & Ivan laugh as a mailman delivers mail to the Dinklebergs)
Ivan: Hey, mailman, nice (dolphin chirps) day, isn't it? Tell Dinkleberg to "go (dolphin chirps) himself"!
Mailman: (disgusted) Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?! (walks away)
Ivan: Well, sometimes, but not... recently.
Mr. Turner: (heard) Oh, Timmy! (walking near Timmy and Ivan with Mrs. Turner) Are you ready for school today?
Timmy: You (dolphin chirps) bet.
(Mr. and Mrs. Turner gasp)
Mrs. Turner: Young man, where on Earth did you even find such language?
Timmy: Uh...
Ivan: We accidentally saw it on the internet?
Timmy: (softly to Ivan) Thanks for the save.
Mr. Turner: Well, as long as it's accidental, it's good enough for me.
(school bus arrives)
Timmy: (talking fast) Well, there's the bus. Love you, bye!
(Ivan and Timmy took off to the bus)
Mrs. Turner: If only he can move fast when it's time for chores.

(inside the bus, Timmy & Ivan walk up to Trixie Tang)
Trixie: Hi, Timmy & Ivan! Tell me I'm pretty!
Timmy: Gosh you're (dolphin chirps) pretty!
Trixie: (gasp) What did you say?!
Ivan: Well, Trixie, these words you're hearing are "sentence enhancers". And as you've heard, Timmy said that you're (dolphin chirps) pretty.
Trixie: You call those sentence enhancers? I've never heard such foul language in my life! This is even worse than people calling me ugly! There's no way I'm sharing my seat with two foul-mouthed kids like you! (gets up and walks away from Timmy and Ivan, who then sit on her place)
Timmy: There goes my attempt at impressing Trixie today. I feel pretty bad for saying that word in front of her.
Ivan: Maybe those "sentence enhancers" are way too much for the popular kids to handle. But I've got an idea when we get to school. (whispers in Timmy's ear)
Timmy: Oooh, sounds fun! (chuckles)

(inside Dimmsdale Elementary)
Timmy: (over the intercom) Hello, Dimmsdale Elementary, Timmy (dolphin chirps) Turner speaking!
Ivan: (over the intercom) And me, Ivan (dolphin chirps) Prestonovich!
Ms. Wallace: (gasp) Did they just say...?
Samuel: Yes, they did.
Nurse Quack: (shocked) Quack!
Mr. Birkenbake: Remind me, why do we have a nurse who behaves like a duck?
Samuel: I have no idea.
Timmy: (over the intercom) Here are some rumors going around the school: Did you know that Veronica has a secret crush on me? I dunno about you, but it sounds (dolphin chirps) awkward! A popular girl who secretly loves an average, unpopular kid that no one understands? That's (dolphin chirps) absurd!
Ivan: (over the intercom) Yeah! But like Timmy said, it's just a (dolphin chirps) rumor, so take it with a pinch of (dolphin chirps) salt.
(Tad and Chad gasp)
Tad: Is it true that you have a crush on Timmy, Veronica?
Veronica: (nervous) Uh...noooo! Where'd you get that idea? I don't even like him! I'm actually more concerned on where he learned those awful words!
Timmy: (over the intercom) And let's not forget Denzel (dolphin chirps) Crocker here! Rumor has it that he hunts fairy godparents to prove their existence! He's officially on the Teacher (airhorn)-list!
Ivan: (over the intercom) Crocker, fairy godparents only exist in kids' imaginations, so why don't you go to a (dolphin chirps) doctor and get some (dolphin chirps) help?
Crocker: WHAT WAS THAT?! Did someone just say (twitches) SWEAR WORDS OVER THE INTERCOM?!
Timmy: (over the intercom) Another rumor is that Crocker likes to eat surströmming every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner!
Students: EWWWWW!!!
Ivan: (over the intercom) And that's why he is so (dolphin chirps) unlucky when it comes to dating women!
Mr. Mulligan: And what do you think you're doing, Timmy Turner and Ivan Prestonovich?
Timmy: (gasps) Mr. Mulligan?
Ivan: Who is he?
Timmy: He is Tootie's teacher.
Mr. Mulligan: Ms. Wallace, take them to the principal's office.
Ms. Wallace: (pick up Timmy and Ivan by their heads) You heard Mr. Mulligan, let's go.
Ivan: No.
Mr. Mulligan: Look, kids, it's either the easy way, or the hard way.
Timmy: We'll take the easy way and go with Ms. Wallace.
Ms. Wallace: That's more like it. (starts walking to the principal's office)
Timmy: (to Ivan) He's generally a nice person, much better than Crocker. But I don't attend Mr. Mulligan's classes because of, you know, Tootie.
Ivan: I understand.

(Principal Waxelplax's office)
Ms. Wallace: Here are the two potty mouths, Principal Waxelplax.
Principal Waxelplax: Put them to their seats.
(Ms. Wallace drops Timmy and Ivan near the seats of the desk and walks out)
Principal Waxelplax: (over the intercom) Crocker, report to the principal's office, NOW!
Crocker: Why? What did I do this time?!
Principal Waxelplax: We need to talk about some of your students' manners.

Ivan: We wanted to sound cool with this fancy talk, and we ended up in the principal's office?! This (dolphin chirps) blows!
Principal Waxelplax: Young man, you better watch your language or I'm adding 2 weeks of detention!
Ivan: Sorry, Principal Waxelplax.
Principal Waxelplax: There ain't nothing fancy about these words you said! You have to know that this is a school, not a gutter mouth convention!
Timmy: Well, we were told those were bad words anyway.
Crocker: No duh! I bet you learned them from your (twitches) FAIRY GODPARENTS!
Principal Waxelplax: Crocker's #1 excuse.
Crocker: Hey, I'm telling you: FAIRIES ARE REAL!
Principal Waxelplax: Quiet! (to Timmy and Ivan) Anyway, there are 13 bad words you should never use, two of which you used when you hijacked the intercom.
Timmy: Wow, that's a lot of (dolphin chirps) bad words.
Crocker: (twitches) I HEARD THAT!!!
Principal Waxelplax: Look, kids, just promise me you'll never use bad words in school again.
Timmy and Ivan: We promise.

(after school)
Ivan: I sure am glad Principal Waxelplax told us those words we were using were bad words.
Timmy: To be fair, though, fairies warned us about using them.
Wanda: We told ya.
Cosmo: I bet you two feel pretty (dolphin chirps) embarrassed right now.
Wanda: Cosmo!
Cosmo: Sorry.
Ivan: No, we're not, Cosmo. Principal Waxelplax told us not to use bad words again in school or else we'd end up in detention.
Astronov: Aren't you two gonna, you know, wish to never speak those words again?
Timmy: I'm pretty sure we can handle this without wishes, so no.
(fairies sigh)
Ivan: We should restrain ourselves from using bad words, no matter how bad the situation might be.
Timmy: Agreed.
(they both enter the Turner's house)
Mr. Turner: Timmy, how was school?
Timmy: Okay, I guess.
Mrs. Turner: Good, because we're leaving you to be babysat by Vicky, and Tootie is gonna come over here later. Have a good day, son! (she and Mr. Turner leave; Vicky enters the house)
Timmy: Vicky babysitting me? And Tootie coming over later? Well, (airhorn)! (covers his mouth)
Ivan: Oh, (dolphin chirp; covers his mouth aswell).
Vicky: What did you say, twerp?
Timmy and Ivan: (pointing at each other) He said "(dolphin chirp)"!
Vicky: (gasps) Do my ears deceive me?! You two should be ashamed! Sure, I am evil, but even I wouldn't say words like that to my family or other people. You two need to be taught a lesson! You twerps better stay here, I'll be back. (leaves the house; Tootie enters the house)

Tootie: Hi, Timmy!
Timmy: Oh no! (hides behind Ivan)
Tootie: What's wrong?
Ivan: We said swear words in front of Vicky and we're gonna be punished for it!
Tootie: Wow, that sounds pretty serious.
Timmy: I've got a bad feeling about this...
Vicky: (comes back with tools and weapons) Alright, you foul-mouthed twerps, you're gonna receive the punishment of a lifetime! (stubs her toe on a wall and screams in pain) OH, MY (dolphin chirps) TOE! WHAT (dolphin chirps) GENIUS (raspberry) DESIGNED THIS (dolphin chirps) HOUSE?!
Timmy: It wasn't my parents, I swear!
Vicky: SHUT THE (dolphin chirps) UP, YOU (dolphin chirps) TWERP! CAN'T YOU SEE I GOT A (airhorn) TOE HERE?! (continues saying a bunch of swears, bleeped out by electric guitars, harps, car horns, water splashes, & other sound effects; Ivan, Timmy and Tootie all count the swear words she uses)
Ivan: Five, six, seven... Wow, I didn't know Vicky had such a "colorful" vocabulary.
Timmy: And I thought we and our fairies were foul-mouthed. Looks like I can add "potty mouth" to my list of icky things about Vicky.

Vicky: THAT STUPID SON OF A (car horn)! (cries in pain)
Timmy: (looking at Ivan with 13 fingers) That's all 13 words, Ivan!
Tootie: (gasp) I'm telling mom, sister!
Vicky: (panicking) No! Please, not my mommy! (Timmy, Ivan & Tootie run to Vicky's house) Wait, please don't tell my mom! I don't think her heart can take it!
Timmy: Oh, so you do love your parents after all, huh, Vicky?
Vicky: Shut up!
(they go to the house)
Timmy & Ivan: (repeatedly banging on the door) Aunt Nicky!
Tootie: (simultaneously) Mom!
Nicky: Well, hello there!
(Timmy, Ivan & Vicky all explain the situation at the same time, swearing numerous times as they do so, with only Tootie being silent, cringing as they say swear words)
(scene moves to Mr. Dinkleberg sticking his head out the window overhearing everything)
Dinkleberg: Good gravy! That's the loudest profanity I've ever heard.
(back to Vicky and Tootie's house)
Tootie: So, that's what happened, mom.
Nicky: (shocked) Oh, dear... (faints)
John: Oh, Nicky, what have these foul-mouthed children done to you? First Vicky made us into cowards before therapy, and now this?! (to Timmy, Ivan, Vicky and Tootie) You should all be ashamed, making a woman faint with your potty mouths!
Tootie: But dad, I wasn't even swearing!
John: Oh. Well, in that case, the boys and Vicky should be ashamed!
Ivan: I know, uncle John. I'm ashamed, too. I wish Timmy and I could never speak those words again!
(Astronov, Neptunia, Cosmo and Wanda smile in the sky, and activate their wands, NO MORE POTTY-MOUTH!)

(Timmy, Vicky & Ivan are seen cleaning up Vicky's house)
Vicky: (grumbling) Stupid dad, making me clean the house all because I stubbed my toe!
Ivan: Easy, there, Vicky, don't burst your anger bubble! (laughs)
Vicky: Shut the (dolphin chirps) up, you son of a (car horn)!
Timmy: Whoa!
Nicky: Young lady, that's not very nice!
Timmy: Aunt Nicky, I have a question for you and uncle John.
Nicky: What is it, Timmy?
Timmy: How did you stand up to Vicky like that? Last time I saw you, you were scared of her!
John: Well, Timmy, let me tell you something. As a parent who is terrified of his oldest daughter, I would say that I'm scared of my daughter! At least, until me and Nicky saw a therapist who taught us how to stand up to Vicky. If she misbehaves, we'll threaten her to reveal Vicky's true colors to everyone.
Ivan: Hey, that's great!
Nicky: It sure is. I'll have you know, being a mother of an evil teen, and a crazily in love little girl isn't easy. But, thanks to our therapy sessions, it's now become a little easier. And I guess you boys earned a glass of lemonade!
(Tootie walks up to Timmy & kisses him on the cheek)
Tootie: That's for being very polite and calm.
Timmy: Thanks, Tootie, that's sweet of you. Want some lemonade?
Tootie: Eh, why not!
(Tootie, Timmy and Ivan raise their glasses)
Ivan, Timmy and Tootie: (in unison) Cheers! (they drink the lemonade)
(Nicky is heard screaming offscreen)
Nicky: OW! MY (squeaky toy) FOOT!
(Timmy, Ivan & Tootie spit out their lemonades)
Vicky and Tootie: Mom!
John: What? My wife just accidentally stepped on one of Tootie's rubber ducks while holding her foot in agony! (squeezes the toy) See?
Timmy: For a second there, I thought Aunt Nicky was yelling swear words. (everyone but Vicky laughs)
(screen fades to black, Astronov and Neptunia pop out in front of the black background)
Astronov: Say, Neptunia, where did you learn those horrible words that you call "sentence enhancers"?
Neptunia: From Vicky.
Astronov: (not amused) You're just being silly again. Where did you really learn those bad words?
Neptunia: (sigh) Alright, I learned them from an old Crimson Chin comic from the 1980's.
Astronov: (satisfied) That's all I needed to hear.
(ending title card)

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