Fairly Odd Pretty News/Quotes

(Turner's house; Timmy's room; Timmy turns on TV)
Timmy: Man, I hate the news.
Timantha: I know. It never gets any better.
Astronov: But the news gives great advice to what goes on in the world.
Ivan: But there's nothing fun going on in the news.
Wanda: The news isn't supposed to be fun. How would you know how to make news fun?
(Timmy, Ivan and Timantha make a devilish look at each other)
Cosmo: Oh, there go the devilish looks in their faces.
Neptunia: They'll make a wish to make the news more fun, and soon it'll come back to make them suffer the consequences.

(Timmy's room set up as an editing room)
Ivan: Okay, everything set up?
Poof: Camera's ready.
Timantha: Editing computer's ready.
Timmy: (walks to a chair next to Ivan) Alright, let's do this.
Wanda and Astronov: I've got a bad feeling about this. (look at each other) Jinx!
(news channel returns after commercial break; News sports host starts talking until his head has been switched to Timmy's)
Timmy: Um, hello. This just in, anyone who sees a creepy teacher by the name of Mr. Denzel Crocker, throw footballs at him.
Mr. Turner: Ehh, I don't remember the sports host looking so... hideous.
Ivan: (who's head switched the weatherman's) As you can see, it is cloudy with a chance of Crockers. I'd recommend barricading into your homes and put on earmuffs, so you won't be hearing "NEW WORLD ORDER!! NEW WORLD ORDER!!"
Timmy: Good night, and thanks for watching.
(turns off TV; fairies poof away the setup; everyone laughs)
Timmy: (sigh) We're in a lot of trouble.
Ivan: Yep.

(Dimmsdale Elementary; Limousine drives in front of campus; feet walks out; mysterious man walks to Mr. Crockers classroom; camera pulls up to the man revealing to be Chip Skylark's manager; everyone gasps)
Manager: I've got something to say to (points at Timmy and Ivan) those two boys.
Ivan: (to Timmy) Who's that?
Timmy: That's Chip Skylark's manager, aka, "The guy from the record company."
Ivan: Mm-hmm.
Manager: After what you've done to the news last night, there's something you need to know.
(Timmy and Ivan frighteningly chatter their teeth)
Manager: You boys are hired!
Timmy and Ivan: What?
Manager: Your editing over the news has inspired the whole population of the Earth, and with your skills, you will have the best careers, making the news fascinating for children everywhere.
Ivan: Wow! But wait, there's a whole lot of different types of news that even I can hardly announce.
Manager: On the contrary. You and your pink hatted friend will be announcing sports.
Timmy: Sounds good to me.
Ivan: I'm in.
Manager: Train tracks for teeth and piggy tails will be doing the weather.
Chester: Am I piggy tails?
(Tootie questionably glares at Chester)
Manager: I'm also going to need really smart minds to explain what goes on at night. So, the hairless egghead and the spunky curly hair are right for the job.
(A.J. and Charlotte smile at each other)
Manager: Lastly, there's going to be a little business spreading, so Miss Popular will be doing gossip.
Trixie: (high-pitched squeal; stops and everyone awkwardly stares at Trixie) Wow, did everyone hear that?
Classmates: Yes.
Manager: I'll see you all in the set later at night. (walks out of the door)

(News Studio)
Announcer: From MBC News, we go live, with Anthony James and Charlotte Johnson. Timmy Turner and Ivan Prestonovich on sports, Chester McBadbat and Tootie Miller on weather, and Trixie "tell her she's pretty" Tang on Gossip n' the World.
(News Title pops up)
A.J.: Good evening, I'm Anthony James. Local news reported that Dimmsdale Elementary's two most popular boys and co-class presidents, Tad and Chad have been rewarded for "most popular boys on Earth". However, victory was short lived when Tad and Chad fought over the trophy, complaining who would take it home. Tad was sent to the hospital after his soon-to-be former friend gave him a serious kicking in the shin. Could this be the end of Tad and Chad's popularity and their snobby friendship? We'll never know. Now, to Charlotte on celebrity news. Charlotte?
Charlotte: Thanks, A.J. This just in, a few days ago, musical pop diva, Britney Britney has been taken to custody, due to her cause of hyperactive tantrum syndrome. After questioning, Britney took out the guards and escaped. Her current whereabouts are still unknown, but rest assured, hopefully she and her new nose will find a better career at the time. We now go live to Chester and Tootie with the weather report.
Chester: Today will be sunny, partly cloudy with a chance of storm, and snow making lives better for everyone.
Tootie: Surely, the weather will be fine, as long as it doesn't affect the skin of the love of my life. (pulls up a Timmy picture and awkwardly kisses it)
Chester: Wow. Hopefully for your sake that doesn't cause an angry mob with that performance. Here's Timmy and Ivan on sports.
Timmy: We got a big one going on today. Football went from depressing to awesome. The Crimson Chins against the Crashing Nebulas. With a chin-tastic performance, the Crimson Chins have kicked the Nebulas' butts using an epic kicking goal! Who knows where that football has landed?
Ivan: Word was, the football the Chins kicked out from the field is about to land right here in this studio.
Timmy: Wait, what?
(Football fell on Timmy's head)
Timmy: (slightly wakes up from unconsciousness) And now, here's Trixie. (unconscious again)
Trixie: Hello, Dimmsdale. Trixie Tang on Gossip n' the World. I guarantee you, your secret will be my secret. Word on the street, is that two local geniuses have been going out on a few dates and don't want anyone else to know until High School.
(A.J. seen playing tiptoes on Charlotte's arm while Charlotte giggles, but stops after hearing Trixie and both quickly looks away from each other)
Trixie: In other slick news, a girl with pig-tails whose had a life-long crush on a buck-tooth wannabe secretly puts on geeky looking clothes just to look creepy to constantly scare her soon-to-be husband and make him find her clothes attractive.
(Tootie in tears, mouth wiggles and she passes out)
Trixie: Lastly, an over-achieving cutie with purple-colored glasses secretly has a thing for purple stuff. It's his favorite color when it comes to grapes, books, glasses, as mentioned earlier, and possibly his own bedroom. I'll give you a hint, his name rhymes with uhh... Live in?
(Ivan was about to eat purple grapes, but after hearing Trixie, he eats green grapes in disgust)
Trixie: Well, that's all the time we have on Gossip n' the World. See you all tomorrow.
(everyone's mouths widely open)
A.J.: Um... thanks for watching?
Cameraman: Cut.
Everyone: Trixie!
Ivan: What were you thinking?!
Trixie: Just doing my job. I need to spread out rumors of whatever I hear.
Charlotte: Not if it's about me!
Tootie: Or me!
Ivan, Chester and A.J.: Or us!
Timmy: (waking up) Or me. Oh, darn it. Blacking out again. (faints)
Trixie: I assure you, nobody in school will have a clue of whom I was talking about.

(Dimmsdale Elementary; Timmy, Ivan, Tootie, Chester, A.J. and Charlotte walk to the hallway seeing everyone giggle at them)
Kid: Ooo, it's that creepy girl. Can you advise me to scare the pants off my love interest?
(Tootie embarrassingly looks down)
Francis: A.J. and Charlotte sitting in a... (Charlotte's head angrily steams up; Francis gets punched off-screen; falls on his side) (high-pitched)...tree.
Kid: Ivan, wanna come to my fancy purple themed tea party?
(everyone laughs; few seconds later they surround Trixie, wanting her to sign autographs)
Trixie: I'm... a... (stars for eyes) star!

(Turner's house)
Ivan: I can't stand it any longer. Trixie's turned into a monster!
Timmy: It's our fault from the start. None of this would have happened if we wouldn't have messed with the news. Guys, we wish we were all fired.
(Fairies raised their wands; raspberry)
Ivan: Oh, what is it now?!
Neptunia: Turns out that Trixie loves her new job a lot.
Timmy: (sarcastically) Great! True love? And all because of a stupid news career? What are we going to do?
Timantha: (walks to Timmy's room) I'm glad you'd asked, big brother. After looking up some intel on gossip reporters, the only way to get Trixie to willingly give up her job is showing her something that no one else will ever believe.
Cosmo: Timantha, you know you can't reveal us in the news. We'll be exposed.
Timantha: No, I've got something better in mind. Gather around!

(News Studio; Trixie's door)
Trixie: (off-screen) There's no way Elmer's boil can talk.
(Ivan knocks the door)
Trixie: (on-screen, drinking tea from a cup) I gotta go, Missy. Come in.
Ivan: Hey, Trixie. I just want to offer you good luck on the set. Oh, but I have to warn you: Don't look through that peep-hole from your room to mine, okay?
Trixie: I didn't know I had a peep-hole. And I'm completely well aware of another persons privacy.
Ivan: Alright. But if you do look through it, you will be amazed, shocked, sickened, disgusted and horrified! Well, gotta go. (walks out of Trixie's door)
(Trixie looks through the peep-hole, sees Ivan watching TV, when all of a sudden, the screen shows a crowd of scary alien cats)
Trixie: (gasp)
Ivan: Greetings, fellow slimy felines.
Alien Cat #1: Greeting, agent C81. Have you prepared for our feast?
Ivan: Indeed, here is that jar of first graders which keeps our teeth shiny, as promised.
Alien Cat #2: Excellent.
Alien Cat #3: We will arrive at the dreaded planet known as Earth and deliver them to our master for a buffet.
Ivan: I think she's buying it.
Aliens: (clear their throats)
Ivan: Oh, uh, indeed. Now the entire solar system will fear us! And no one will be the wiser! Okay, bye. (turns off TV)
(Trixie heavily breathing)

(Gossip n' the World)
Trixie: And that's why we need to form an angry mob. The alien cats are on their way tonight, and we have to save all the first graders in the world! Our future depends on it!
A.J.: Very interesting story, Trixie. Well, that's all the time we have.
Charlotte: See you all next time.

(Wall 2 Wall Mart)
(Timmy, Ivan and friends laugh)
Tootie: Oh, that was great.
Chester: I mean seriously, alien cats?
A.J.: We really should thank your sister for this, Timmy.
Charlotte: Yeah, and we should definitely thank Mark Chang for letting us borrow his fake-i-fiers.
Ivan: No one's ever going to believe in Trixie's rumors again.
Chester: Except for them.
(an angry mob appears)
Timmy: She had to say "form an angry mob.". We should've seen this coming.
Principal Waxelplax: There they are!
Kid: Get them!
(mob chases the gang; Ivan gets snatched and tied up)
Timmy: Trixie! No! Ivan's not an alien.
Trixie: What? He is an alien! I saw it myself.
Tootie: No. We're serious! We (uses the fake-i-fier to turn into a cat alien) used Mark's fake-i-fiers to disguise ourselves and trick you. (back to normal)
Timmy: You've gone overboard with your job and we needed to teach you a lesson to invade other people's privacy.
Trixie: Oh, what have I done? (walks to the mob) Wait! Stop! Don't hurt him. It was all just a scheme to stop me from going through others personal space.
Principal Waxelplax: Oh. Set him free. (mob frees Ivan; walks away)
Chester: Well, that was easy.
Ivan: Yeah, normally it takes a lot of convincing, but the madness ended just like that.
Trixie: I'm sorry guys. All the power has gone in my head, and I couldn't control myself. Can you forgive me, please?
Tootie: Sure.
Chester: What the heck.
Trixie: Thanks, guys. And here's something for the kid that I've spared from spreading rumors about.
(Trixie kisses Timmy on the cheek, Timmy blushes; Tootie has her arms crossed looking away in disgrace)
A.J.: But what about our jobs?
Trixie: Eh, I was thinking about quitting anyway.
Charlotte: Ditto.
Chester: Come on. Let's go home.
(gang walks out from the screen; Trixie picks up Ivan, who's still tied up; Chester quickly grabs his ice cream and walks out; A.J. and Charlotte hold hands while walking off the screen; Tootie blows a kiss to Timmy goodbye)
(fairies and Timantha poof up)
Wanda: Well, you sports sure learned something today.
Ivan: We sure have, Wanda.
Timmy: Never mess with the news ever again.
Neptunia: I knew their fun will come back and make them suffer the consequences.
Astronov: What are you, psychic?
Cosmo: No way she can be psychotic. She looks calm to me.
Wanda: PSYCHIC, Cosmo, not psychotic. Psychic means that someone can predict the future. Psychotic is someone among the likes of Vicky, a psycho.
Cosmo: Oh.
Timmy: From now on, we should just leave TV the way it is. Nothing's going to... Wow! Look at the ratings in this movie!
Ivan: (devilish look) Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
(fairies sigh)
(end title card)

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