Fairly Odd Comrade/Quotes

(Timmy and his fairies playing soccer Poof; Jorgen Von Strangle appears)
Jorgen: Timmy Turner, I've been notified that there's a new kid coming into Dimmsdale from Russia with his parents, who wants to be friends with you.
Timmy: WHAT?! I've had enough of those new people coming into my town!
Wanda: Relax, sport, (poofs away the soccer equipment and poofs their regular clothes on and Poof back into fairy form) he's a friendly kid. And he has fairy godparents, just like you!
Timmy: Really? Well, that's interesting.
Cosmo: It sure is, like a new flavor of ice cream!
Poof: Or a newborn child.
Timmy: What's the kid's name, anyway?
Jorgen: His name is Ivan Prestonovich.
Cosmo: Prestonovich? Is that Portuguese?
Jorgen: No, the kid is Russian. And he should be here momentarily. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got biceps to keep tan. (poofs away)

(outside; a taxi stops by Timmy's house)
Taxi Driver: Well, this is the place.
Mrs. Prestonovich: (voice only) How much do we have to pay for the trip?
Taxi Driver: That'll be $6.
Mr. Prestonovich: (voice only) Ладно. (Okay.) До свидания! (Farewell!)
Taxi Driver: I'm sorry, sir, but I don't speak Russian.
Mrs. Prestonovich: (voice only) It means "farewell".
Taxi Driver: Okay, bye, have a good day!
(Ivan and his parents come out of the taxi, which then drives away)
Timmy: Hello, Ivan!
Ivan: Здорово, товарищ! (Hello, comrade!)
Timmy: What?
Ivan: That was Russian for "Hello, comrade!". Comrade as in "friend".
Timmy: Oh. I get it.
Mr. Prestonovich: Здравствуйте! (Hello!)
Mrs. Prestonovich: My husband's not very fluent in English. We're Ivan's parents.
Timmy: Pleased to meet you. I'm Timmy Turner. My full name is Timothy Tiberius Turner, but you can call me Timmy. Welcome to America, comrades!
Mrs. Prestonovich: You must be our new neighbor.
Timmy: I sure am. Where's your house?
Mr. Prestonovich: Вон там. (Over there.) (points towards the house that's a couple of blocks away from Vicky's house; he and his wife, along with Timmy and Ivan start walking towards it)
Timmy: Ah, so you'll live in Vicky's old house that's a couple of blocks away from her new house.
Mrs. Prestonovich: You know, Timmy, back in Russia, before Ivan was born, I actually met your mother once. She's a nice woman.
Timmy: Of course she is. Wait, how do you know about me?
Mrs. Prestonovich: Your mother told me about you when we were chatting on the Internet.
Timmy: Oh, okay.
Mr. Prestonovich: Иван, ты можешь пойти поиграть вместе с Тимми в своей комнате. (Ivan, you can go and play along with Timmy in your room.)
Ivan: But where is it?
Mrs. Prestonovich: It's upstairs. (she and Mr. Prestonovich go upstairs with Timmy and Ivan, approaching a door, and opening it) This is where Ivan will be sleeping, and this is where he'll keep his strangely colored pets.
Ivan: Fine by me.
(Mr. and Mrs. Prestonovich go downstairs; Timmy and Ivan go inside Ivan's room, Ivan puts his pet carrier down)

Timmy: You know, Ivan, when I have new neighbors coming into Dimmsdale, I always have a tendency to freak out.
Ivan: Timmy, why do you freak out when a new neighbor comes in?
Timmy: You see, Ivan, I once had neighbors known as the Carmichaels.
Ivan: And?
Timmy: They had a daughter named Chloe. I was forced to share fairy godparents with her by Jorgen due to fairy shortage. At first, she seemed like a girl that didn't need fairies, because Crocker considered her a "Little Miss Perfect", and I didn't want to share my fairies with her. However, I soon learned that her behavior leaves her with no friends, and that she isn't so perfect after all. Thus, we became friends from that point on.
Ivan: Where is she now?
Timmy: Chloe and her parents left Dimmsdale for a 4 month stay in Maine for her parents jobs.
Ivan: I see. And another thing, Timmy. You used to have a pet, right?
Timmy: Yes. I've had a lot of pets, but unfortunately, they all died from starvation when my mom claimed that they ran away when I went to summer camp. (echoes) Camp...camp...camp... I really gotta do something about that echo.
Ivan: Well, that's sad.
Cosmo: Yeah, one time, Timmy wished for his mom's garden to be full of life, and it didn't end well. Many of Timmy's former pets were revived and wanted to get revenge on their owner, including his gerbil, Eddie.
Timmy: Because of my pets dying, I was proclaimed the worst pet owner of the world and was banned from every pet store in Dimmsdale, even though it wasn't my fault. I also had a fairy dog named Sparky.
Ivan: Where is he?
Wanda: That stain to our fairy family? Sorry for being rude, but before Timmy met Chloe, Sparky trashed Timmy's house and blamed him for it. Then, he ran away.
Cosmo: He must be having some kind of dog crisis.
Wanda: Because of what he has done, me, Poof, Timmy and Cosmo have lost all respect to Sparky. That dog since then brought nothing but trouble!
Ivan: Oh...sorry to hear that about your pet.
Timmy: So, Ivan, how did you know about me?
Ivan: My fairy godparents told me about you and your crazy adventures.
Timmy: Okay. Where are your fairies?
Ivan: They're in my pet carrier.
(a yellow rabbit wearing a monocle hops out of Ivan's pet carrier)
Ivan: This yellow rabbit here is Astronov. He's my fairy godfather.
Astronov: (turns into his fairy form) Hi. You must be Timmy.
Timmy: Duh!
Wanda: Hi, Astronov! Long time no see.
Astronov: Hello, Wanda. How's family?
Wanda: Oh, it's fine. We do all the usual hijinks that we normally do.
Astronov: I see. (to Cosmo) How's it going, Cosmo?
Cosmo: I'm great, thanks for asking. Say, Astronov, where's your wife?
(Something is heard meowing. A blue cat comes out of the carrier, then transforms into a beautiful fairy)
Ivan: And this blue cat is my beautiful fairy godmother, Neptunia.
Neptunia: Pleased to meet you!
Timmy: Wow, you look pretty! As pretty as Trixie Tang, if she became a fairy.
Neptunia: Thanks, Timmy, that's sweet of you.
Poof: Hello, I'm Cosmo & Wanda's son, Poof! Back then, I only used to say my name, and soon some other words, before finally being able to talk normally!
Neptunia: That's so interesting, Poof. You're so cute! Kinda makes me wish to have a baby. Hello, Cosmo, still acting like an idiot as always?
Cosmo: Of course! Remember when she and I were two halves of a whole idiot? Now, I'm a whole idiot, while she's the smart one!
Neptunia: (laughs) Yeah, I remember! Cosmo, tell me I'm pretty!
Cosmo: (blushes) Gosh, you're pretty!
Astronov: (simultaneously with Wanda) NEPTUNIA!!!
Wanda: (simultaneously with Astronov) COSMO!!!
Cosmo & Neptunia: Sorry.
Cosmo: I'm sure in another world, we could've been a couple.
Neptunia: Maybe. But this isn't school anymore. I'm married to a smart fairy, and you're married to a smart fairy.
Astronov: I remember how I wanted to be with Wanda when I was at school, because she was not only smart, just like me, but also very popular. Ironically, me and Neptunia were some of the most unpopular fairies in school. She loved me because I was smart, and often flirted with me, but I kept ignoring her, because, as I mentioned earlier, I loved Wanda.
Neptunia: Riiight, and then there was that... incident.
Timmy: What incident?
Astronov: That's a story for another day.

Timmy: This is amazing!
Ivan: Yeah, thing is, I don't have very good eyesight, and I forgot to get my glasses on the way to the airport.
Timmy: I'm sure we can solve that. Let me take you to Vicky, she's my babysitter. She has a sister named Tootie, who has a crush on me, but that's not the point. The point is that Tootie has some glasses that she could give you.
Ivan: That Vicky girl sure sounds nice.
Timmy: Don't be fooled, Ivan. She's really evil: icky with a capital V. Now, enter Vicky's house, Ivan. Don't be shy.
Ivan: Um, okay...

(Ivan enters Vicky's house, Vicky in a hockey mask holding a chainsaw approaches Ivan, he screams)
Vicky: Alright, a new twerp in town!
Ivan: (scared) You're Vicky, right?
Vicky: (takes off hockey mask) Yeah, how did you know?
Ivan: Timmy told me about you.
Vicky: THAT LITTLE TWERP?! Oh, how I love causing misery in little kids for money!
Ivan: (scared) I thought you were a babysitter!
Vicky: Well, that's because I fool the kids' parents into thinking that I'm nice!
Ivan: Now I see why they call you "Icky Vicky"!
Vicky: Correct! That is, except for Timmy's idiot parents who thought that Chip Skylark song was about pumpkins!
Ivan: Who's Chip Skylark?
Vicky: Oh, he's a handsome looking singer who I used to be in love with until I found out he wasn't rich. He still makes good music, though. You should listen to his songs sometime.
Ivan: Okay. Anyway, can I see Tootie, please?
Vicky: You'll have to get through me!
Ivan: I'm just lucky that I have a cat who hates mean girls. If you're wondering, my name is Ivan Prestonovich, and I come from Russia.
Vicky: And I'm lucky that I have a pet of my own too! (whistles) Doidle, come here!
(Doidle runs to Vicky and barks)
Vicky: If you can beat that Russian twerp's kitty, I'll give you a treat!
Ivan: But if my cat wins, you'll let me through.
Vicky: Very well. (to Doidle) Doidle, attack!
(Neptunia in cat form and Doidle fight; Neptunia wins, and Doidle runs away whimpering)
Vicky: (sigh) Looks like Doidle's not getting his treats today. You win this round, Russian twerp! Right now I'm letting you go, but the next time we meet, you won't be so lucky! (walks away)
Ivan: (goes upstairs, to himself) Ugh, what an icky girl! If there's one thing I hate, it's mean babysitters.

(Ivan enters Tootie's room)
Ivan: Is anyone here?
Tootie: Are you the new kid that Timmy was talking about?
Ivan: Da. Are you Vicky's sister, Tootie?
Tootie: Of course!
Ivan: Well, Tootie, you look rather cute.
Tootie: Thanks! I've never heard anyone except for Timmy calling me cute.
Ivan: My family has moved to your old home, so now I live a couple of blocks away from your home.
Tootie: That sounds great!
Ivan: Yeah, but I'm afraid I have poor eyesight.
Tootie: Oh, you poor thing. Let me give you my glasses. (takes off her round glasses, puts them on Ivan) What do you think?
Ivan: Wow, I can see much better!
Tootie: Good for you. You can keep these glasses, if you like.
Ivan: Thank you, Tootie! I think I'll be keeping them. By the way, you look even more cute without your glasses on.
Tootie: What a lovely compliment! I always have spare glasses with me, because my eyesight isn't very good either.
Ivan: Okay, gotta go now. Also, my name's Ivan. It was nice meeting you.
Tootie: Likewise.
(Ivan goes downstairs and leaves Vicky's house; sunset)
Timmy: So, how did it go?
Ivan: It went fine. I had to face off against Vicky's dog, Doidle before I got to meet Tootie, who then gave me her glasses so that I can see better.
Timmy: I must say, they fit you nicely.
Ivan: Thanks, and you're right, Timmy. Vicky is quite icky. Anyway, it's getting late, I better get back home before 9.
Timmy: Me too. Tomorrow is a school day, I can introduce you to some of my other friends and enemies in school. Good night, Ivan.
Ivan: Good night, Timmy.
(Timmy and Ivan both walk away from each other)

(the next day; the Prestonovich house; Ivan is sleeping)
Mr. Prestonovich: Иван, пора в школу! (Ivan! It's time for school!)
Ivan: (wakes up, yawning, comes downstairs) Of course, school. (a few minutes later, he goes outside, approaches Timmy and gets inside the school bus with him)
Timmy: You ready for your first day in an American school, Ivan?
Ivan: Da, Timmy.
Astronov: (disguised as a backpack) Must be exciting, isn't it?
Ivan: Hopefully, yes.
Timmy: Why do you interchange between English and Russian?
Ivan: Для разнообразия. (For variety.)
Neptunia: (disguised as a pencil case) It means "for variety" in Russian.
Timmy: I understand now.

(The school bus arrives at Dimmsdale Elementary)
Timmy: This is Dimmsdale Elementary School, where I'm studying. My teacher, and my second worst enemy is Denzel Crocker, a bitter and crazy man who's obsessed with capturing fairies to prove their existance.
Ivan: Hmm, this school's more exciting than I thought it would be!
Timmy: Oh, but that's only the beginning. Let's go meet my friends, and then we'll go to Mr. Crocker's class.
(Timmy and Ivan walking near the hallway; Mr. Crocker sees Ivan)
Crocker: Hmm, a new student? He also seems to have... (twitches) FAIRY GODPARENTS! Looks like I'm going to get a double dose of (twitches) FAIRY MAGIC!
(Timmy and Ivan walk to Chester and A.J.)
Timmy: These are my two best friends. Chester and A.J..
Chester: Hello, stranger!
Ivan: The name's Ivan. Are you Chester?
Chester: Yes. My full name is Chester McBadbat.
Ivan: Why is your family name McBadbat?
Chester: (sad) Because me and my dad are terrible at baseball...
Ivan: Aw, sorry to hear that. But you're pretty cool, Chester.
Chester: Thanks, dude. I live in a trailer with my dad. If you want, we can have a road trip all across Dimmsdale!
Ivan: Sounds exciting, but that'll have to wait. (to A.J.) And you must be A.J..
A.J.: Yup. Anthony James, or A.J. for short. I'm pretty smart and quite rich.
Ivan: Uh-huh. If you're so smart and rich, then why are you hanging out with the unpopular crowd? I mean, seriously, what's up with that? (Timmy, Chester and A.J. laugh) I'm serious! Why aren't you a popular kid, A.J.?
A.J.: You know, it's really unclear. Maybe I'm just not cut for socializing with anyone other than my friends.
Chester: Did I mention that girls give me the hives?!
Ivan: Aw, great. I've found two flaws with your friends, Timmy: one is girl-shy and the other one doesn't socialize very well. But I don't mind that. I still think these guys are cool. I've always wanted a smart kid for a friend.
A.J.: Thanks for believing in me.
Timmy: I'm just glad you're getting along with them nicely.
Tad: Hey, nice gettup! You just blow in from Nerd Town? (he and Chad laugh)
Ivan: Who are these jerks?
Timmy: These two boys are Tad and Chad, some of the most popular students in school. I do not recommend going to them, unless you're one of the popular kids, which you aren't right now. And if you're thinking about hanging out with one of the pretty girls while they're around, forget about it.
Ivan: Sounds reasonable.
(Timmy and Ivan walk further down the hallway to Trixie and Veronica)
Timmy: Ivan, I'd like for you to meet Trixie, my on-again-off-again girlfriend.
Trixie: (deadpan) Hi, Timmy. (normal) That must be Ivan, the new Russian student you've been telling everyone about!
Ivan: Uh huh. That's me!
Trixie: Tell me I'm pretty!
Ivan: You sure are pretty. And who... (gasps upon seeing Veronica, has hearts in his eyes) is that?
Veronica: Oh, hi! You're Ivan, the new kid, right?
Ivan: (snaps out of it, eyes back to nomral) Da.
Veronica: I'm Trixie's best friend, Veronica.
Ivan: Well, you look just as pretty as Trixie, Veronica. (shakes hands with Veronica)
Veronica: Thank you! (whispering) You better keep your mouth shut around the popular boys, or else they'll kick you in the shins.
Ivan: Why?
Veronica: (whispering) Because me and Trixie are actually the most popular girls in school.
Ivan: Oh.
Veronica: (normal) I'll have you know, I'm very pleased to meet you!
Ivan: Ditto.
Timmy: Well, it appears that class is about to start. I'll see you later, ladies!
(Timmy and Ivan leave)
Trixie: Finally, peace and quiet.
Veronica: Is it me, or is that Russian kid kind of cute?
Trixie: Well, yeah, he does seem that way.

(Crocker's classroom)
Crocker: Okay, class, I'd like to welcome our new student! What's your name, kid?
Ivan: I'm Ivan Prestonovich, and I come from Russia.
Crocker: Well, this is new. We now have a foreign exchange student!
Ivan: I'm not a foreign exchange student, my parents chose to move from Moscow to Dimmsdale. I seem to be, like, at home here, and I have a feeling this will be a great place to stay in.
Crocker: Yeah, okay. Now quit your yapping and get to work.
(Ivan takes his seat next to Timmy)
Ivan: Your teacher's crazy, Timmy!
Timmy: You're telling me! Oh, did I forget to mention that Cosmo and Wanda used to be Crocker's fairies?
Ivan: Really?
Timmy: Yeah. We've traveled back to the 70's and tried to prevent Cosmo and Wanda from being exposed so that Crocker right now won't be bitter and fairy obssessed. Unfortunately, I've completely screwed up.
Ivan: I'll say.

(outside the School)
Ivan: I can't believe he gave me an F! I literally got 75% of the questions right.
Timmy: Not surprising. That's kind of Mr. Crocker's nature.
(Timmy and Ivan stopped and see a shadow in front of them, revealing Francis)
Francis: Well, looks like I have twice the helping of lunch money today.
Ivan: And you are?
Timmy: Meet your new school bully, Francis.
Francis: I've heard about your bad grade, (grabs Ivan on the shirt) so I'm gonna add injury to insult.
Ivan: Isn't the term called "Add insult to injury?"
Timmy: Not the way he does it.
Francis: It'll be nice to have fresh meat in town.
(Francis getting ready to punch Ivan)
Timmy: Unless there's a giant waving pool of soap... (to Cosmo and Wanda as his backpack and school supplies) that I just wished for.
(Cosmo and Wanda raise their wands;BATH POOF; A giant waving poof of soap appears; Francis lets go of Ivan and runs away)
Francis: I hate baths!
Ivan: Wow, evil babysitters, fairy obsessed teachers, and pale skinned bullies. Dimmsdale sure is a tough town.
Timmy: Yeah, but it's not too bad once you get to know it better.
Ivan: What's next? Presidential privilege?
(Tad and Chad walk near Timmy and Ivan)
Chad: Thanks for reminding us, new kid. You two are currently under class president territory after school hours.
Tad: And we're afraid that we're gonna have to ask you two to leave.
(Tad and Chad clapped the hands and a spring trap launched Timmy and Ivan and their godparents in disguises out of School and into Timmy's bedroom; Timmy and Ivan quickly regain consciousness and their fairies turn back to fairy form)
Timmy: That's gotta be the longest fall I've been through. Well, second longest when I gave flowers to Trixie two days ago.
Astronov: What happened then?
Timmy: I was rejected a few seconds later.
Neptunia: Harsh.
Cosmo: Oh, it wasn't too bad, except for the landing in a bush of poison ivy in the end of the falling.
Mr. and Mrs. Turner: (voices only) Oh, Timmy!
Timmy: It's my parents! Everyone who is not human, disguise yourselves.
(Cosmo, Wanda and Poof turn into fish and land on Timmy's fishbowl; Astronov turns into a rabbit, while Neptunia simultaneously with Astronov turns into a cat)
Mr. Turner: (opens the door) You're home early today. And this must be your new friend.
Ivan: Приятно познакомиться. (Nice to meet you.)
Mr. Turner: Ehh, I don't speak Portuguese, but I can assume you must have have said someting nice.
Timmy: He was speaking in Russian, Dad, and he did say something nice.
Ivan: Yeah, I said, "Nice to meet you" in Russian.
Mrs. Turner: He's right, dear. I could've told you myself, but I didn't want to be rude in front of Timmy's new friend who apparently has purple glasses. So, what do you like to do, Ivan?
Ivan: Well, I am pretty good at the drums.
(walks off-screen; drums heard; Ivan on-screen playing the drums like a pro)
Timmy: Wow, that was awesome!
Neptunia: That was pure professional drumming right there.
Mr. Turner: Did your cat just talk?
Ivan: Uh, no. You're just... hallucinating.
Mrs. Turner: Well, that does make sense.
Mr. Turner: After all, we've been dizzy from eating too much ice cream and cake from the Bakery. Come on, honey, let's find our bedroom before get a sugar crash.
(Mr. and Mrs. Turner walks out; Mrs. Turner off-screen thuds on the floor)
Mr. Turner: (off-screen) Ha! Sugar crash! Ow!!! Brain freeze! Too much ice-cream! (thuds)
Ivan: Interesting parents you've got there.
Timmy: But they are a lot of fun.
(fairies turned back to normal)
Poof: What do you say we end this day by going on the rides in Fairy World?
Timmy and Ivan: They have rides there now?
Wanda: Oh, yes. It's the best way to keep Fairy World an interesting place for godchildren like you two to hang out at.
Ivan: What do you say, Timmy?
Timmy: I'd say, let's go... comrade.
(Ivan smiles; fairies raise their wands;POOF)

(Fairy World; Timmy, Ivan and fairies poof to the Magical Spin Cycle)
Timmy: What a perfect idea to end an amazing, yet hard in school day.
Ivan: A new town, and a godchild/new best friend with fairies of his own to hang out with from time to time. Now I can see how difficult your life was before Cosmo, Wanda and Poof came into your life.
Timmy: I think you and I are gonna get along just okay.
Ivan: Same here.
(Jorgen pops up warning them about the ride)
Jorgen: If you guys want to stay on the ride in one piece, I'd recommend you keep you puny mouths shut.
(Jorgen moves off-screen and starts the ride; Timmy, Ivan and fairies making exciting noise off-screen while on the ride, visibly shown spinning really fast; barfing noises are heard)
Wanda: (off-screen) Ugh! My mouth was open!
Cosmo: Here comes the water!
(water falling from the sky to the ride)
Neptunia: Aww! This dress is dry clean only!
(screen fades to black;Title Card ending)

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