Blond-dissimo/Quotes

(Fairy World; Juandissimo floating; depressed)
Juandissimo: (sigh; sits down on a chair)
Cupid: Strike three, buddy?
Juandissimo: More like strike three thousand. No woman in Fairy World would date me.
Cupid: Well, granted, you were pretty cruel back in High School.
Juandissimo: I was young, okay? Now I'm really regretting my personality back then. (sigh) This might be a sign that this mucho excuse for a fairy will grow old and alone.
Cupid: Buck up. I'm sure there's a certain someone who is willing to be your soulmate.
Juandissimo: Not in another ten thousand years will I ever... (stares) Who... is... that...?
(camera shows Blonda granting wishes to Trixie)
Cupid: That is Blonda Fairywinkle, Wanda's twin sister.
Juandissimo: More like Blonda Magnifico. It's time to stop moping and get back to dating. (rushes to Blonda)
Cupid: Huh. Guess it's been ten thousand years already. I should get more diapers.
Juandissimo: Hello beautiful, I am...
Blonda: (shrieks) Juandissimo Magnifico! I am a huge fan of your style. Sorry you've lost your winning chance in Fairy Idol.
Juandissimo: Oh, that's okay. I'm glad they've cancelled it after that filthy genie Norm won by default and crushed Cosmo and your sister.
Trixie: So, what brings you around?
Juandissimo: I am here, because of a serious thing to ask.
Blonda: And what might that be?
(scene skips to Cupid sharpening his love arrows)
Cupid: So, how did go?
Juandissimo: (down face;sigh) She... (excited face) wants to go out with muy!
Cupid: Oh! That's wonderful!
Juandissimo: Now, if you'll excuse me. I've got a date.
Cupid: You may want to go back to working out again.
Juandissimo: (looks at the mirror) Ay! You're right. (raises his wand and turns back to his former self) Much better. Adios amigo. (repeating tears his shirt and poof up a new one three times;poofs away)

(The Turner's House)
(Trixie and Remy walk in)
Timmy: Oh, hey guys. What's up?
Trixie: You'll never believe this. My godmother along with his godfather is getting married!
Remy: Isn't that great?
Chloe: It sure is. I love wonderful marriages. I've always wanted to be a volunteer over marriage decorations. I've even got fireworks to make the day of the couple more fascinating. Of course, I've never used fireworks properly. I have poor planning skills when it comes to that.
Ivan: So, Juandissimo and Blonda are getting married?
Remy: That's right, Ivan. And we've already invited you guys for this special day. It would be a privilege if you all would come.
Timmy: (simultaneously with Ivan and Chloe) Sounds good to me.
Ivan: (simultaneously with Timmy and Chloe) Sure.
Chloe: (simultaneously with Timmy and Ivan) I won't be making fireworks.
Trixie: Great! We'll see you all at 6:00p.m.
Remy: (walks out) Ta-ta.
Wanda: Oh, my sister's getting married! I thought this day would never come.
Astronov: You do realize that (twitches) Juandissimo (stops twitching) will be your brother-in-law, right?
Wanda: Yeah, so? I mean, sure he's been... off back then, but every fairy deserves a second chance.
Cosmo: Except for me.
Poof: The best thing you could do is at least come.
Sunny: Yeah, dad, I mean, don't you think he could be a good friend later on?
Neptunia: I've hated Juandissimo too, but Wanda's right about the second chance thing.
(Astronov looks at everyone)
Astronov: Alright already. I'll go. As long as I'm not anywhere near Musclebod Buffpants.
(everyone cheers)

(Buxaplenty Mansion)
Remy: I'm all dressed up and ready for our godparents special day.
Trixie: (heard on the phone) The marriage starts in ten minutes.
Remy: I'll be there.
(Remy sees a note)
Remy: What's this? (reads the note) "Dear umm... ehh... uhh... son, your mother and I are going to a luxury spa hotel and will not be back until next week. So, just to make sure you won't be alone, we've hired one of the best babysitters in Dimmsdale to take care of you. Her name is Lauren Ledergerber." And just who might that be?
(door bell rings; Remy opens it)
Lauren: That would be me.
Remy: Well, it sure is nice to meet you. I'm...
Lauren: GOING TO BED!!!
(picks up Remy and takes him to his room)
Remy: What?! I can't. I need to go... uh... somewhere important.
Lauren: I'm sure that wherever you "need to go," it can wait... never!
(Lauren throws Remy to his bed and shuts and locks the door from the outside so he won't break free)
Remy: Oh no. I'm gonna miss the wedding. (dials his phone)
(everyone walking to the Fairy Chapel)
(Timmy picks up his phone)
Timmy: Hello?
Remy: Turner, you have to help me. I have a babysitter who's trapped me in my room and I need a ride.
Timmy: I'll be right there. I'll get you a Fairy Bus.
Remy: Thanks.
(Fairy Bus arrives at Remy's Mansion)
Remy: Wow, that was almost too fast.
(Timmy runs out of the bus and throws a rope to Remy's window; Remy climbs up and they both quickly ran to the Fairy Bus)
Lauren: Hmm. Remy hasn't said anything since I've locked him in bed. Better check on the rich brat. (opens the door) He's gone!? (looks down and sees the Fairy Bus) What the heck kind of bus is that? (pulls up her phone) Better call Vicky. (dials her phone) Vicky, do you know anything about a bus with magic like sparkles all over?
Vicky: (heard) Oh that must be a bus from Fairy World. Timmy and his fairies must have used it to get to Earth.
Lauren: Remy Buxaplenty and Timmy Turner have fairies?!
Vicky: (heard) If you want to see what he's up to, I'd recommend hiding underneath the bus.
(Lauren sneaks inside the bus and hides underneath it)
Lauren: You're gonna get it, twerp! When I get your little fairy friends, you're next!

(Fairy World)
(Timmy and Remy runs out of the bus)
Remy: Come on, Turner! No time to lose.
(Lauren burnt up from the exhaust fumes gets out from under the bus and looks around)
Lauren: Fairy World, huh? Hmm, I think it's best to stay out of sight so I can follow him.
(Fairy Chapel)
Cupid: You guys came just in time. The vows are starting.
Minister: We are gathered here today to take this lovely couple in holy matrimony.
(Remy and Trixie smile)

Minister: Is there anyone here who has a reason why these two should not be wed?
(door slams open; Lauren in disguise walks by)
Lauren: I object, for a very serious occasion!
Jorgen: Who are you, marriage interrupter?
Lauren: The name's (drops out of her disguise) Lauren Ledergerber to you, beefy boy! (to Remy) And your fairies are going to pay the price for my babysitting payment. (drags Remy away)
Timmy: Lauren Ledergerber?
Ivan: Who's she?
Timmy: She comes from a secret organization known as B.R.A.T., Babysitters Raging Against Twerps. She used to be the leader, until Vicky took over.
Ivan: Well, I don't know how she got here, but she's not doing anything to ruin this marriage.
Timmy: You're not taking anyone away. Cosmo, Wanda, poof her away!
Cosmo: Taste fairy wrath!
(Lauren uses a rope to catch Cosmo and Wanda's wands)
Wanda: Uh-oh!
Lauren: All too easy.
Blonda: I'm not going to let my marriage get ruined by a selfish girl with a hideous 80's hairdo! Get her!
Lauren: Well, that was a dumb move for me.
(every godchild and fairy surrounds Lauren)
Lauren: Okay, let's be reasonable.
Neptunia: Oh, we'll show you reasonable. (snaps her finger)
(Jorgen and other fairies charges their wands)
Lauren: Oh, crud. This is gonna hurt.
(Lauren gets blasted away)
(everyone cheering)
Juandissimo: Now then, shall we?

(Juandissimo and Blonda's honeymoon)
Trixie: This is great. Now you and I have two fairy godparents.
Remy: To share, of course.
Cupid: Well, looks like Juandissimo found his true love.
Chloe: And I've had a feeling my firework skills would pay off someday.
(fireworks; Blonda and Juandissimo kiss)
Blonda: Here's to us.
Juandissimo: Here, let me pour you more lemonade.
(Juandissimo pours lemonade on Blonda's cup, a close up showing Lauren shrunken inside one of the ice cubes)
Lauren: I hate happy endings.
(Blonda slowly drinks her lemonade; Lauren screaming)
(Title Card ending)

Previous Episode's Quotes /// Blond-dissimo's Quotes \\\ Next Episode's Quotes

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.